Everyone hated having to wake up early on Sunday morning. Sunday school was either our heaven or hell, depending on if you memorised last week’s memory verse. Since it’s Sunday school teachers appreciation day, we want to recognise the different types of Sunday school teachers who made Sundays so… eventful.
The bougie one
This Sunday school teacher was everyone’s fave. She never punished and always had the most incredible church songs. All the kids loved her and felt safe telling her about anything they struggled with. She’d always make you feel like you’re on the set of one of those kids’ shows like Barney. She genuinely believed in every single kid and made them all feel special. Her kids were always the best Sunday school kids, and everyone wanted to be their friends.
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The one you hate to love
This Sunday school teacher was super strict, but everyone wanted to impress them for some reason. they’d give like 20 assignments, and people would never forget to do them because they were terrified of what they’d do. They werealso the type to use every free time to teach valuable life lessons or play games like sword rule. they’d scold parents for bringing you to church late or beating you.
The temporary one
The newcomer in church who didn’t know where they wanted to belong yet. Kids mostly took advantage of their naivety, telling them there was no memory verse the week before, and they’d never argue. Of course, they never last long in the Sunday school department. It’s usually more tedious than they signed up for.
The guy
In every Sunday school department for kids, there was always “the guy”. There could never be more than one of them at a time. He was usually young enough for the kids to want to be his friend but old enough to marry the woman in the ushering department he’d been dating for two years. He always used modern-day analogies to teach kids, to make them feel seen, and always promised to buy the best student expensive gifts — sometimes, he did. Hard not to like him TBH.
The party aunty
The youngest teacher, nobody actually knew what class she taught because she was everywhere. All the kids wanted to be her favourite, but she somehow loved everyone equally. She always came up with the best choreographies and funniest drama skits. She was also responsible for those rare Sundays when they bought biscuits and drinks kids liked instead of Cabin biscuit.
The oldest old-school woman
Her Sunday school classes were always boring, and she gave assignments, but thankfully, always forgot about them. She was probably a teacher before she retired and used Sunday school to relive her glory days. Ask yourself if you remember one topic she taught, and the answer would be no.
The one everybody hates
As soon as it was their turn to teach, everyone would start groaning. They never smiles and doesn’t make or take jokes. You’d somehow copy seven pages worth of notes, and they always wanted to mark it. They gave the hardest, most introspective notes, and the worst part? They didn’t even know that people hated them, including the other teachers.
The purity culture queen
Every Sunday school group had one of these. They always worked with teenagers and would always tell stories about how they were bad kids back in the days, pursuing boys, smoking and sneaking out. If they didn’t turn every Sunday school lesson into a purity culture session, they’d probably be sick. They’d be so cool if they tried, but you couldn’t really hate or love them because teenagers hate being told what to do.
The one who flogs and punishes
This one was just the evil spirit of Sunday school teachers. They always held a cane, especially for their own kids. Every Sunday, they’d appear with a new cane. All they knew how to do was remind the one everyone hated that they gave assignments and the one everyone loved to hate that they told people to memorise Psalm 91. God, abeg.
