During the BBNaija Sunday Live eviction show, Wandi and Handi got their pound of flesh from Rhutee, their fellow housemate. The twins jumped off their seats and hurled invectives at her after she was evicted.
While most people have had mixed reactions to the twins’ actions, it got me curious about what people do to score points during fights. These Nigerians share their unhinged experiences.
Bimbo*
In 2020, I had just completed uni and was at home, waiting for NYSC deployment. I spent most of my free time writing short stories and poems on my phone, but my mum assumed I was playing.
One morning, she sent me on an errand, and I told her to give me a few minutes to wrap up what I was doing. She didn’t take it well and went on a lengthy rant about how I wasn’t making myself useful. For the rest of that week, I locked myself in my room, placed my portable speaker at the door, and blasted Tope Alabi songs. The thing is, I only picked songs against enemies and such. At first, my mum acted unfazed, but by the end of the week, she asked if she was the enemy I was praying against. I denied it, but it pleased me that I got a reaction from her.
Aishat*
I visited a cybercafé, and a lady was being unnecessarily difficult. She wouldn’t move so I could get to a free seat, even though she had enough space around her. Instead, she said I should carry another chair and insisted I pass through a tight corner. I didn’t bother arguing with her for long.
When I squeezed myself through the tiny space she made for me, I deliberately used the chair to almost hit her face. It was satisfying to get back at her like that, and she couldn’t do anything. My friend and I laughed about it later.
David*
Many years ago, my family lived in a face-to-face apartment. During a fight with my mum, a neighbour poured water on her. My mum stood there, speechless and clueless about what to do. Then, she started crying.
A spirit must have taken over me because I went inside our room, pulled out the bowl of elubo (plantain flour), and emptied it on the woman. She screamed and kicked, trying to hit me. But I ran out of her reach.
I thought my mum would report me to my dad when he got back, but she didn’t. I haven’t had any extreme reactions like that in a while, but where my parents are involved, I can cross several lines.
Joe*
I fought with my flatmate earlier this year over a money-related matter.
He landed a punch but our neighbours came between us before I could hit him back. I wasn’t going to let it go.
He had a series of interviews scheduled for that week, and I knew he used my WiFi. I also allowed him to use a joint connection after I got a generator, so I was basically giving him free light and internet. I didn’t want him to have enough time to make other plans, so I waited until the morning of his first interview to change my WiFi password and take him off my line. We were keeping malice, so he couldn’t ask me anything. It gave me so much pleasure to see him suffer for what he did to me.
Johnson*
My friend lost a sibling three months before my mum’s death, and I went above and beyond to be there for him. After my mum passed, he barely offered any support. One day, out of frustration, I got on the phone and unleashed all my anger on him. It was a full-blown messy rant.
He wasn’t having it, so we got into a loud shouting match. Before I got off the phone, I told him I was cutting off the friendship. We’d been good friends for over two years, so to threaten him like that was extreme. Usually, if I want to end friendships, I just stop talking to the person or ghost them. Anyway, we stopped talking after that.
Bisola*
I’m an easy-going person these days, and there’s a reason for that.
When I was in SS 3, I had a huge fight with my class captain. We tore each other’s shirts and poured dirt on each other. A teacher saw and ordered us to the staff room. As we were leaving the staff room, this girl said something about my mum – something along the lines of “Your mother is a bastard.” Those words hurt more than they should have.
The next day, I went to class with a padlock and key. I stood in front of the girl, calling out her name and hurling heavy curses on the padlock and key. Afterwards, I threw it into the bushes. It was one of those things I picked up from Yoruba Nollywood. I didn’t know if it would work, but I desperately wanted it to. The girl fell sick two weeks later, and everyone started pointing fingers at me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared. In my head, I thought I was a witch or something. That experience always comes to mind when I’m pushed to do something extreme in a fight.
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