Five weeks from now, President Tinubu will have been the president for a year. Yet, good power supply, one of his campaign promises, is anywhere but realised.
Again, while trying to move on from the realisation that we’ve been scammed by another political gamer, city boy returned to dangle another empty promise of constant electricity in our faces during his January 1st New Year broadcast.
Well, with the national grid collapsing for the umpteenth time this year, it’s clear that Mr President and whoever is calling the shots at the power ministry can’t (or won’t) get shit done, so we asked AI for the way forward.
Start a national dance for electricity
How will this work? The power stays on for every hour citizens stay dancing. Now we know that Jagaban is a hot stepper. Maybe when Nigerians hit the streets recreating all his signature moves, he’ll be moved to actually give us light.
Power Rangers program
If your first thought is the Power Rangers, you’re not far off from what ChatGPT suggested. But how will this work? Volunteers will dress up as their fave ranger and generate electricity through their heroic actions. Don’t know about you, but I know we’ll get constant light if Odumeje volunteers.
National switch off day
Are we tripping or is AI plotting with our power minister and his “managing electricity” agenda? Anyway, ChatGPT says we should switch off electricity on Sundays for a day of outdoor activities. AI is pretty much telling us to go outside and touch grass. Think of this as a way of letting the national grid breathe.
Get your tickets here for a day of fun, networking and partayyyyy
Electricity Idol reality show
Where are those people who claim their voices can send angels to slumber? AI says we should hold their necks because the longer they sing, the more electricity their voices generate. Timi Dakola, Omawumi, Waje et al, rise, please.
Energy olympics
At this point, ChatGPT is accusing us of having the solutions to our problems and deliberately sleeping on them. Have you seen the abundance of talented athletes we have? It’s time to put them to action because we might be able to transform all that energy brewing in them to actual electricity. Victor Osimhen, come outside please.
National power nap
Even if the national grid eventually receives deliverance, generating 24/7 electricity will only take us back to ground zero. The way out? A 5-hour national siesta to be observed by everybody. This is AI’s way of teaching us maintenance culture.
