Middle kids are the most underrepresented demographic in the sibling industry. How many middle child memes have you ever seen? These five Nigerians had a lot to say about being a middle child in Nigeria.
Ik, 34
Honestly, there’s nothing special about being the middle child. It’s almost like no one expects anything good or bad from you because they don’t see you. When you’re a royal fuckup like me, you learn to appreciate people’s lack of expectations for your life. Also, you get to fail as much as you like without feeling the pressure the firstborns feel. It also helps that I grew up in a pretty comfortable family.
You can drop out as many times, start new businesses that don’t work out and never move out. You hardly have friends because most of your friends are your older siblings’ friends or your younger siblings’ friends that hung out with you growing up. But it’s harsh realising this in your thirties.
Nothing fazes you until you look back at your siblings’ lives and see how well they have it and how established they are. They’re married and they have kids, but it’s just you as a single father, still living with your parents, hustling for two. But it’s fine, things never really work out for us middle kids like that. My time will come whenever that is.
Daniel, 10
My mom always makes me wear my [older] brother’s old shoes and old clothes, but they used to be new for him, and my [younger] sister always gets new things. Every time I have sweets and snacks, I’m the only one that always shares it with them. They don’t share sweets with me. Sometimes I even have to celebrate [my birthday] when my younger sister is celebrating, and I don’t even know why.
My parents always blame me for everything that gets spoiled or broken in the house, even when it’s my sister that did it, just because she’s too small. That’s why I want to go to boarding school like my brother so that nobody will be sending me errands or blaming me again. My siblings always fight and put me in the middle and they never allow me to watch my shows. It’s not fair. I only like being the middle child when my brother goes to school and I’m the firstborn for a short while, but then he comes back every time.
Tunmise, 19
Being a middle child can be nice but it can be hell, too. You get treated as a child sometimes and get treated as an adult as well.
When my older siblings beat me, my parents are on my side, especially my dad, even if I’m at fault, but when I do the same to my younger siblings, it’s always my fault. I can’t feel wronged because they support me too even when it’s my fault.
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Dami, 24
All my life I’ve never really caused any trouble. Everything with me is just always different and low-key. I like it. I’m not really in the spotlight, neither am I really in the background. I love it so much that I’m not the firstborn. Because the firstborn is there, I can skip responsibilities. I’ll most likely get away with not getting married since they have other children of either sex.
I’m also the child that has never really been at home as much as my other siblings. When I was younger, I used to think it sucked to be a middle child because I didn’t get a lot of special treatment, but now that I’m older, I love all of it. And if there’re any extra benefits of being a middle child, I’ll accept them with my full flat chest.
Denise, 18
You always have to give up something for your other siblings, especially when you’re just three. You always end up as the “understanding” one that doesn’t need a new school bag and doesn’t complain.
People always forget you exist. People always remember to get things for your older and your younger siblings, but you? Never. No one ever calls my mum “Mummy Denise”. it’s always my older sibling’s name or the last born’s — never mine. It sucks.
If the firstborn is a fuckup, it’s on you to be better and step up. You always have that at the back of your mind. The only upside is that you can get away with a lot of things because you’re invisible, anyway.
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