Everyone on the streets knows there’s no love there, only wickedness. And if you’re a young Nigerian guy struggling to make ends meet, Davido literally said, “Love is sweet but when money enters, love is sweeter.“
So how do you begin to find love when you don’t have the money?
“Women say they have a spec but their spec is money”
— Omo*, 25
Women lie. They say they have a spec but if you don’t have money, you could tick everything else off their list and they still won’t date you. Their spec is money.
I’ve been single for too long, and even though I can’t say lack of money is the only reason, it’s something. I’ve given up trying to find love, I’ll just want to focus on surviving this adulthood thing.
“If there’s no money involved, they start backing away from the conversation”
— Kola*, 36
In my experience, most women, irrespective of age, don’t even want to take the conversation forward the moment they feel like I have nothing financially beneficial to offer them. They’re always on the lookout for what they can stand to gain from me, and this is okay because relationships should be mutually beneficial, but tell me why they get offended when men ask them what they bring to the table?
Yes, it’s possible to find love without having money. But on a scale of one to ten, I’d say the chances are two.
“You don’t need a shit tonne of money, just a decent amount”
— Sola*, 29
I’ll agree that finding love without money is difficult, but I think for you to attempt to do so means you’re financially reckless. Everyone has their principle about love and relationships, but personally, I think you should have money before you propose to someone’s daughter. You don’t need a shit ton, just a decent amount would do.
With the way I would want my relationship to be when I finally get into one, it would need cash and that’s one of the reasons I’m not even looking for love right now.
“At first, they claim it’s not an issue but along the line, it becomes one”
— Efe*, 27
Money is an important ingredient — like seasoning, it’s not the only thing you need, but you can’t do without it. You could woo the lady, and successfully get her, but how do you maintain the relationship and provide for her needs?
I’ve had women who were interested in me claim money is not an issue, but along the line, the lack of money becomes the cause of many problems. Let’s be real, everyone wants money. It’s tough on the streets, and seeing all these doe-eyed couples makes me feel like shit, but I enjoy being on my own every other day.
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“I don’t see myself wooing a woman with money because I have game”
— Myron*, 23
I started dating my current girlfriend when I was in University, and even with a few side jobs and allowance, my terrible money habits made it hard to save. She had her own money so I wasn’t obligated to do anything but I could afford food delivery to her hostel, a date, or a simple gift here and there.
Things are different now but I still don’t see myself trying to use my money to woo a woman, because I have game. If I had to imagine myself on the streets right now, I think I’d do more for someone I was interested in because I have the capacity, but not as a requirement.
They want you to fund a lifestyle they can’t afford
— Wole*, 21
The dating pool is really small for a young broke student because I can’t even afford proper dates or social hangouts that would help me meet potential love interests.
Nigerian women want you to have your place, have a car, pay for dates, and God forbid you refuse to help fund a lifestyle they can’t afford.
You need money for a relationship, not love
— John*, 32
Finding love is easy, it’s more about the things we can’t control than the things we can. Money becomes an important factor in retaining the love you’ve found.
It’s a major factor when it comes to choosing your partner to date or marry, not who you love. That’s why women can be in love with you but go ahead to date a man more financially buoyant. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you because you don’t have money, it just shows that we live in a third-world country where everyone is striving to make ends meet.
*All names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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