It might’ve rained a bit, but there’s still no light. If we’re being honest, the rain hasn’t done much to cancel our suspicion that someone is dragging this nation to hell or to replace Mercury in proximity to the sun.
In summary, it’s hot AF, but these essentials will keep you from melting.
A good rechargeable fan
The emphasis here is on “good”. What’s the point of a rechargeable fan that needs to be plugged to a power bank before it gives two hours of cool breeze? It either comes correct or not at all, please.
Nivea Deo Dry
See, this heat will make you sweat, and wearing the lightest of clothes won’t prevent that. But you don’t need to look or smell like your problem — sweat stains are so 1999. Stock up on Nivea Dry Range deodorants to stay fresh for longer.
Money
I refuse to believe the same heat flogging us mere mortals is the same heat dealing with the people in Banana Island. Okay, wait. Banana-Island-money is a stretch. Let’s focus on getting money to buy air conditioners or even something at the mall so you can enjoy mall AC small.
The prayers of your ancestors
We might think it’s a joke, but someone out there might be actually dragging this nation to the flames of hell. Start praying to your ancestors so their plan won’t work. Add some bonus prayers to touch NEPA’s heart so they do the needful too. We can’t be battling heat and no light at the same time.
Running water
Because bathing twice a day was for Harmattan. Now, you have to consider three times and above.
Pro tip: Using the Nivea Dry Range deodorants will keep you feeling dry and fresh for longer, so you won’t have to spend all your time in the bathroom.
A rich partner
Specifically, a partner who has a car with a working AC. Trust me, you DO NOT want to drag danfo buses in these perilous times. Or, even worse, having to sit beside sweaty people who haven’t discovered Nivea Dry Deo.
A freezer
In the hot season, your freezer isn’t just for freezing food items, it can also serve as a makeshift bed when the heat wants to take your life. Are we asking you to sleep in a functioning freezer? Nah. Where’s the light for that? But at least, the freezer lid will still be slightly cool without electricity. So, sleep away.
PS: If you don’t get any other thing on this list, you see that Nivea Dry Range deodorant? It shouldn’t be missing from your essentials. You’ll thank us later.
