I don’t know how it came to be, but spraying money is a big part of Nigeria’s owambe culture.
Unfortunately, this culture hurts your account balance. How can you enjoy parties and still avoid spraying money?
Stay at home
You won’t have to spray anyone if you’re not at the party. Whip out your phone and stream the party live— problem solved.
Sit down and just vibe to the music
Even if you decide to go to the party, don’t stand up to dance. Just move from side to side on your seat.
Find fellow non-sprayers
Find like-minded people who are just there to eat and have fun.
Always carry something in both hands
When your hands are busy, you can’t spray money.
Wear the aso-ebi
This is the best way to blend in with the crowd. They won’t notice you’re not spraying if you’ve already spent money on their ₦50k lace.
Pretend to be the official photographer
Carry a camera around and take on the role of the official wedding photographer. People will assume you’re too busy capturing moments to participate in the spraying ritual.
Adopt a “no cash” policy
Claim that you’ve gone cashless for the day and proudly show off your empty wallet. Insist that you’re fully committed to the digital payment evolution and cannot participate in the spraying tradition.
Blend into the background
If you can’t blend in with the “haves” in your aso-ebi, find a cozy spot near a wall, somewhere secluded, or even under the tablecloth. Once the spraying starts, fade into the background and become one with the furniture.
Hire a personal bodyguard
Find big gym bros to shield you from any attempts to make you spray. It might cost you, but whatever the cost, we’re sure it’ll be lower than senselessly spraying mint cash all day.
