Whether we want to admit it or not, men love being called “Daddy”. There’s just something about being called Daddy by someone you’re doing genital meet-and-greet with that makes you buga with vim.
But how do you get your lover to call you daddy without getting them pregnant? Let me help you.
Grow a beard
To move to Daddy status, you need a beard. Beardless men are cute, but if you want to be dangerously sexy, this is where the beard comes in. You can try any of these tips if your beard is not clicking.
Learn how to reverse and parallel park with one hand
The gworls that get it, get it. Men who can drive with one hand and do it well are just sexy AF — maybe it’s the increased danger or the illusion of being in control. I don’t really know why but it just gets everywhere wet sha.
Go bald
I’m not talking about small low-cut hair, I mean the type of baldness where people can see their reflections when they look at your head. If you don’t believe me, look at Lynxx, RMD and Banky W.
Become a billionaire
There’s nothing money cannot do. With a couple more zeros in your bank account, best believe even straight men will start calling you daddy. Money stops nonsense.
Flirt like an old man
I don’t have tips for this, but you can ask your father how he landed your mother and use the same lines on anyone you find attractive.
Start listening to Sunny Ade, KWAM1 and Osadebe
You want to be a daddy with a capital D, and you’re on TikTok doing the #kulosachallenge? Let’s be serious here. Daddy status is a state of mind, and you must musically feed your mind with the classics. Burst out the Sunny Ade vibes and complain about how the music of “this” generation isn’t hitting like it used to.
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Legally change your name to Daddy
Changing your name to Daddy in a court of law is probably the fastest way to get your lover to call you by that name. Technically, it’s your real name now, so they don’t have a choice.
Start wearing trad
Get rid of the ripped jeans and oversized t-shirts and start wearing trads asaptually. Make sure you have at least three agbadas if you want to get to that Daddy status on time.
Put your lover on an allowance
If you want to replace their father, you might as well replace him financially too. Go all the way.
Always bring them breakfast in bed
I know it sounds like houseboy work, but trust me, it’ll change how your lover looks at you. By the way, try switching the food you’re giving them. Not every day, pancakes and bacon, sometimes throw in a little pap and akara or pounded yam and egusi after intense fornication so they can renew their energy.
Pay for their house rent
If you pay for your lover’s apartment, it means they’re living in their father’s house, and since you paid, you’re now their Daddy. Does it make sense, or do you need a graph for further explanation?
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