I’ve often heard of men who gave regular allowances to their girlfriends but had never met one (that I knew of). A friend prompted me to talk to men who “paid salaries” to their partners so I put a call out. I got some pretty interesting responses from six men. Here’s what they said.
Patrick
She’s looking for a job so I decided to give her something monthly for her upkeep till she starts working again. It’s about 7% of my income although I couldn’t send her the full amount last month because of some financial commitments I had and she understood. I try not to let it affect the dynamics of our relationship. When I first started giving her, she felt she had to be submissive to me and agree with everything I say. I had to make her understand that I didn’t want that.
Sucre
I provide bi-weekly support for my girlfriend. I did it because she’s a student and it’s hard for me to watch her struggle with mundane expenses. I want her to be able to focus on her studies so she can graduate in flying colours. It’s never about the money, it’s about the void it fills for her. I’m comfortable and she should be comfortable too. I’m hoping we’ll be married next year.
Jack
I used to give my ex $50 weekly, which was 10% of my income. She’s unable to get a job and I work 3 jobs. We lived together and I paid for the groceries and other expenses as well. I suggested the allowance but she wasn’t comfortable with it. She even beat it down to that amount because she didn’t want to be a burden.
I can’t be comfortable knowing I can help and decide not to. I didn’t tell people because I didn’t want them to think she was taking advantage of me like my best friend did when I told her. It’s important to me that my partners have their allowance, so they don’t have to rely on me. Money is always made back. Imagine a situation where she needs money but we’re fighting and can’t ask for money.
Seyi
I started paying my ex an allowance to help her financially and also seem to portray myself as responsible because she thought I was making a lot of money. When I was in love, it made sense. Eventually, she started feeling entitled and we’d get into huge arguments when it wasn’t constant. She also wanted to determine and control how much I spent and saved from my salary. She also started being entitled too.
Williams
I’ve been with my woman since 2017 but only started sending her monthly allowance in 2019. I already see her as my wife so it’s no big deal. She takes care of me and goes out of her way to do stuff for me so she definitely deserves it. I give her a minimum of 100k on the same day every month but more if I know there’s something she wants to buy, like a gadget.
Tosin
About 60% of my salary went to my ex and her child (she’s a single mother) but I ended up regretting it. We broke up two weeks ago when I found out she was cheating. I caught her when I read her Whatsapp. She was apologetic but later became violent when I refused to take her back because this isn’t the first time I’ve caught her cheating so I know I had to leave her. I’d spoken to her mother and her best friend to talk to her to stop the cheating but that never worked. The problem is, I miss her so much and I’m angry with myself for not being able to survive without her.
Read: 6 Nigerian Men Share Their Struggles With Fending For Their Families
