Let’s talk about what men do when their significant others aren’t home, shall we? Seven Nigerian men open up to us about how they spend their time when they’re home alone.
“Everything annoys me when my wife’s gone for too long” — Kabir, 28, Lagos
We’ve been married for 11 months. My wife hasn’t travelled since we got married, but I do , once in a while, because I’m a civil engineer. If she travels for a few days , I’ll probably appreciate the freedom of being alone because we’re always in the same space. Audio and video calls will be constant sha. But anything wey pass one week, I’ll start missing her. I don’t even see a situation where we’re apart for more than a week. If it somehow happens, I’ll spend my time hanging out with my friends, but knowing myself, I’ll just start getting angry because I miss her.
“I’m constantly in touch through calls and messages” — Ayo, 34, Chicago
Just having someone you love around is special. But one can’t have her around all the time because of work. My woman is only around for less than 30% of the time. When she isn’t around, there’s more time with the boys, work and TV. But I’m also constantly in touch through calls and text, to manage the lack of presence.
“I read or write and compose music” — Feyi, 40, Akure
If my wife takes a trip with her work colleagues, I get a bit jealous. If she travels alone, I have anxiety because of safety concerns. I love her so much, if possible, she’d be with me all the time. When she has to travel for a long time, video calls help a lot. Alternatively, I stay at home (I’m an introvert) and read or write and compose music.
“I bury myself in work and use music as therapy” — Ife, 29, Lagos
There’s a whole lot of difference when she’s not around. Omo, I dey miss her die. Her touch, presence, food. My wife is the owner and manager of our house, so it’s not the same without her. But I’m never jealous because I know she’s coming back. So in the meantime, I’m home alone, and it’s mostly fast food while I bury myself in work and use music as therapy.
READ: Nigerian Men in Their 40s Get Dragged For These Reasons
“I take care of the kids with the nanny” — Ifeanyi, 37, Port Harcourt
Having someone to gossip and share moments with, her cooking, kisses and warm hugs — I miss all that. My kids feel it when she’s not around, but I think it affects me the most. I focus on tending to the kids, with the help of the nanny, and I listen to lots of music.
“I stay home, watch a movie, work or cook.” — Demola, 30, Lagos
When you’ve been with someone for so long, there’s an uneasiness you feel when they’re not around — especially for long periods. Luckily, my wife and I are homebodies, so even when we have to go out, we’re both thinking of the quickest possible way to return home. We hardly sleep out or keep late nights.
When she’s around, there’s this unexplained ease I feel just knowing there’s someone I can occasionally snuggle and strike the most random conversations with, hug when I need her or get her to distract me when the pressure from work is mounting. Think of the sudden emptiness you feel when PHCN takes the light; it’s what I feel when she’s not around. I stay home, watch a movie, work or cook. In fact, just some days ago, she mentioned how reassuring it is to know that she can always return home from an outing and I’ll be there.
“Things are boring when she’s not around” — Adeola, 31, Ogbomoso
We’ve been running a business together for a few years now, so we used to stay in the office together, always in each other’s face. We even got on each other’s nerves sometimes. But we recently had to expand, and she’s started managing our new branch. It’s quite difficult adjusting to her not being with me at our old branch, so I sometimes make her skip work because things are boring when she’s not around.
It creates a vacuum at home too; the house gets bigger, and I get angry because everything seems boring. I try to watch a movie, but I still feel her absence because she’s the type to always ask questions, so the silence feels awkward. I don’t cook or eat in the house when my wife’s not around because we always eat from the same plate, and I don’t feel comfortable eating alone anymore. The only thing that keeps my mind distracted from her absence is comedy skits from my favourite comedians on social media. I prefer when we go out, have fun and see places together.
