For people who are incredibly sexual, there’s a kind of shame attached to sex and the consumption of materials relating to sex in Nigeria that would be funny if it weren’t so sad. With social media and platforms like OnlyFans taking out gatekeepers in the porn industry, now, more than ever, porn has become easily accessible. In this article, 7 Nigerian men look back on the first time they got caught watching porn.
Mukhtar, 25
I was about 10 years old when it happened. A family had just moved in next door, and my friends and I got acquainted with one of their kids. One day, while we were chatting about a Nigerian movie, Butterfly, starring Genevieve and Ramsey Nouah, this boy told us his father had part 2 of the film, so we all agreed to watch it together. Lo and behold, “part 2” turned out to be porn! One person suggested we turn it off, but we all shut him up. After a while, I stepped out to pee, but I forgot to lock the door. While I was outside, the boy’s father walked in and caught them. I ran home, but the boys snitched on me. Our neighbour’s father sent someone to call me from my house. He beat the hell out of us and made us promise not to do it again. But I still watch porn everyday sha.
Amos, 24
It happened when I was in high school. I collected about 17 porn videos from my friend, so when I got home, I waited until bedtime to watch it. I started watching them one by one till I fell asleep with the videos still playing. By the time I woke up, I couldn’t find my phone again. I searched everywhere and finally summoned the courage to check my mum’s room. I walked in, and she told me to “get out”. She followed up with, “We need to talk.” She asked me where I got the videos from, who I was practising with, and if I wanted to embarrass her. Omo, it was a scary morning. I later found out that my parents watch porn too. I found CDs in hidden places; I guess we weren’t so different after all.
Bello, 29
Mine was during the BBM heydays. A girl buzzed me and was like, “You know we can see what you’re watching, right?” I froze. Then I replied, “Wow, my phone was with someone. I didn’t know they were doing that”, and thanked her for telling me. It was that listening feature. These days, I just remember it and laugh.
DipPickBandit, 30
Anyone who owns a PlayStation 4 knows that PornHub is also accessible on your console. Plus, it’s the last place your significant other would expect you to be watching porn. On one particular day, I was with my ex, who happened to be of a different ethnic background, and we were cosying up to venture into the world of Netflix. I ended up pressing something that opened my browser, revealing a rather voluptuous black woman getting railed. Homegirl burst into tears. I still feel awful and worry she may have thought I wasn’t satisfied because she wasn’t black or thick. I stopped watching porn during the duration of our relationship.
Ebele, 25
It was a lovely morning at home and I felt the need to let off some pent up energy. Two minutes into my beatdown, right at the edge of my nut, my door swings open and in bounds my flatmate asking if I’m hungry. I flew from my bed and hit my toe on the edge of the bed. I could only answer “yes” from behind the wardrobe, holding back tears.
Mike, 34
I was watching porn one afternoon while my roommate was asleep. I remember it was one of those gay porn videos with a long prologue. There were two hunky white dudes working for a construction company and they walked in shirtless with hard hats on, so I guess they were safety conscious. After giving their terrible lines, just as the petting was about to start, my roommate rolled over, and his face landed right in front of my laptop. His eyes were wide open! I almost fainted. Moments later, he closed his eyes and just went back to sleep.
Sope, 27
It looked funny when it happened in American Pie, but mine was mad embarrassing. So I was in my office working late one day. I don’t know how I ended up on my burner Twitter account. One thing led to another and I was in the mood. I assumed no one was around, so I just whipped it out and went to work. Deep in the middle of my thing, our office’s corper rushed into the office. I actually died — like, my soul left my body. Worst part? I still came. He spoke some gibberish and ran out. That was the last time I jerked off at work. The poor guy couldn’t look me in the eye again. Thank God he passed out of service shortly after that day.
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