If you’re a man, you definitely need to read this. Urgently.
1) Tightening cream
You know that virgin phallus has to be taut. That’s why you need to employ creams that’ll help you return it to its original virgin size so that you’ll not disgrace yourself in your wife’s house.
2) Hot water bath
Do this everyday for 2 months and your rod of navigation will be back to feeling brand new. Tear rubber brigade.
3) Amnesia powder
Blow this on all your sexual partners so they forget any history you guys had. No memory, no case. When you’re done, blow the powder on yourself so you can also forget. Wahla for who no get amnesia.
4) Relocation
Leave the area where you committed the debauchery and start anew. New location, new you.
5) Penis enlargement surgery
If there is a change in size, it means old things have passed way. You are now under a new regime.
6) Penis reduction surgery
Same as above.
7) Prayer and fasting
If all fails, my brothers, go to Shiloh and God will “hill” you.