Kneeling on the floor at a restaurant with a ring in your hand is so 1990s and booooring. There are more exciting ways to ask a woman to marry you and it’ll guarantee you a loud “yes!” Read on to see other ways you ask someone to marry you.
1. Toss the ring at them and shout “catch”.
By catching it, it means they’ve accepted your offer.
2. Show up at her family house with engagements like rice, yam and goats.
Try and make sure the goat does not eat the yam on your way there. If she refuses and chases you away, try and make sure the goat does not eat the yam on the way back, so that you can collect a refund.
3. Ask your best friend to hang around when you’re proposing.
4. If she says no, you can have your director shout “CUT!” so you can pretend it was a movie. You can even pretend the tears in your eyes are fake.
5. Write a dissertation listing the reasons why they should marry you.
What is worth doing is worth doing well. Write that thesis. If they say no, they have to write her own counter-thesis explaining all the reasons why. Call it your bachelor thesis.
6. Put it inside her pasta.
You know how Nigerian women love their pasta. You’re sure she’s going to finish it so she’ll definitely see it.
7. Hold a gun to her head.
Nobody says no at gunpoint.
8. Release your dog.
When they say yes, you can chain the dog back. If this backfires, don’t blame us oh.
