Being friends with a guy is fun and all, but when you reach the stage where you can call his mother “Mummy wa”, you’ve become brothers. Sometimes these things happen naturally, but some other times, you have to “trigger” the love of your friend’s mother by doing one or a few of the things on this list.
1. Dress reasonably around her
Just make sure that when you’re going to your guy’s house, you wear good clothes (preferably native), and make your hair look “responsible”. You get extra points if she has been trying to get her son to dress and look better. She’ll hit her son with the “Is this not your friend? Does he have two heads?”
2. Communicate with your native language
Nigerian parents are always talking about how we’re “losing our culture” because nobody ever speaks the native language anymore. Communicate with her with the native language she understands and watch her give you an extra meat in your meal.
3. Help with house chores
Many times, you don’t even have to help. Just boast about being able to cook a lot and lie about one time where you cooked some complicated dish. Then intentionally spill water on the floor when she’s not looking and make sure she notices when you get a mop to clean it. She’ll smile. This is the hardworking son she never had.
4. Call her mummy
Don’t be shy. Call her mummy. She’ll love you more and more.
5. Scold her son
This is the most important one. Insult her son in front of her when he does something that she doesn’t like. As she’s scolding him, join her. Say “Charles and you know we’ve talked about this o. I’ve been telling you. Don’t worry mummy, he will change. We’re working on it. I’ve told him many times.
6. Buy her fruits
Make them assorted. She will love you. Tell her you eat a lot of fruits because you know fruits are healthy.
7. Talk about religion
If you randomly begin to talk about religion, your friend’s mother will love you because you are pious and you can never lead her child astray.
8. Compliment her
“MUMMY! YOU ARE LOOKING SWEET 16! HAY GOD!” Then bring out your camera and begin to take photos of her.
“Gaseth her up and she shalt love thou.”
Motherlations 5:14
9. Recommend movies to her
Be the first person to say “Oh mummy, have you watched King of Boys?” Then throw your friend under the bus right in front of her when she says she hasn’t. Plug it into the TV and play it. She’ll have a nice time and she’ll love you.
