Cover letters are so 2018. No one likes writing them, and do recruiters even read them?
Anyone can say cool things about themselves in a cover letter, but you see these eight alternatives? They’re infinitely better at showing whether you have the skills needed for any job.
Twitter profile
One good thing to come out of the 2023 elections is that most people now wear their foolishness and bigotry as a badge. No need for background checks when a quick Twitter sweep can show if someone has sense or not.
A Nigerian mother’s approval
It’s impossible to please Nigerian mothers, so if she ever approves anyone, you bet it’s because they put the “work” in “hard work”. What else do you even need to know?
NIN slip
They went through the seven gates of hell to register for NIN, and that’s the definition of working well under pressure. The NIN itself proves they’re Nigerian, and they’re still (kinda) alive. Which also means they can survive the most fucked up situation ever.
Name of internet service provider
If they use Glo, they’re obviously very stubborn and have a suffering kink. This means they’ll stubbornly pursue their goals and KPIs come rain or shine.
Good birth report from a midwife
To prove that they are easy to work with by nature. Do you know what it means to not stress your mum or the hospital personnel during delivery?
Proof of sanity
Especially if they’re Nigerians living in Lagos, or believe semo is “elite”.
Jointly signed statement from every ex
You don’t really know someone unless you date them. That’s why exes are the ultimate character witnesses. If they can’t commit to a relationship for more than three months, do you think they’ll spend up to six months in your company?
Screenshot of account balance
Studies from the Zikoko Bureau of Statistics have shown that sapa-inflicted people are more likely to treat their source of daily ₦2k with importance. People who have money can wake up and decide to ghost for a day just to sleep.
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