The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
How long have you been in your relationship?
8 months.
How did y’all meet?
Justin and I have moved in the same friend groups since university. We were in the same department but didn’t get close until he invited me and some other classmates to a family event in July 2024.
We schooled in Lagos, but the event was in Owerri, so many of our friends couldn’t attend. I was already in Owerri — I have family here and was also trying to work out my NYSC posting to the state capital — and decided to attend. Initially, Justin and I only talked about the logistics of my accommodation.
Then I ended up staying over in one of the rooms in his family home, and we realised we were actually attracted to each other. I still joke today that it was love at first kiss for us.
I rate it. Are you both in the same cities now?
Oh yes. He moved back to Owerri after we finished school in 2023. Thankfully, my NYSC posting to Owerri worked out one month after we started dating, so there was no long-distance drama for us.
I also live close to his family home, where he lives, so I constantly pop in to say hi to everyone, especially his mum. The woman and I are now best friends. She loves me to pieces and makes sure I don’t forget it.
That’s sweet. What are your finances like?
When we first started dating, I was a broke babe with no earnings, but that didn’t last long because NYSC came to my rescue. I earn ₦63k now, which isn’t amazing money, but it meets my needs, and that’s better than nothing.
Justin is a graphic designer for a Lagos-based tech company, and I think he earns at least ₦150k. I know it’s around that number because he had to pay ₦160k to swap his phone four months ago, and he said something about waiting for his salary to enter so he could do it.
Is it safe to assume you both hardly discuss money?
About two months into our relationship, I tried to ask him how much he earns, but he didn’t like how directly I asked. He said money was a sensitive topic, and he’d like us to get to know each other better before talking about it. That was our first argument.
I understand he was probably trying to be careful and confirm I’m not the kind of person who’d start demanding money just because I knew his pocket. I don’t have a problem with that. I didn’t tell him my salary either, but I’m a corps member, so he knows I don’t have much. I haven’t asked about his income since then, and he hasn’t discussed it.
You mentioned the salary question turned into an argument?
Yeah. He told his mum I’d asked him, and she called me aside to say, “They don’t ask men things like that.” I felt blindsided that he’d report me to his mum, and we argued about it. We eventually apologised to each other.
But it wasn’t the last time Justin involved his mum in our issues, and I’m starting to think he’s a mummy’s boy. During my birthday in October, he asked what I wanted as a gift, and I shared screenshots of a wig and a smartwatch that’d been on my wishlist for a long time.
Both items cost about ₦420k, and I emphasised that he didn’t need to buy the two; I was just showing him what I wanted. You won’t believe this guy told his mum, and she warned me about being demanding. She was like, I shouldn’t use demands to chase a man who intends to marry me. He later bought me a dress for my birthday and told me his mum picked it.
I see
I’ve also noticed that his mum hears about our arguments and major discussions. In December, my sister had accommodation issues, and I told Justin about the situation. When I visited his mum for Christmas, she asked if my sister had solved her accommodation issues.
Sometimes, it’s weird that his mum is so actively involved. I love the woman; she’s incredibly nice and checks on me. But I’ve also heard horror stories about men who only listen to their mothers, and I often wonder if that’s what is playing out here.
Have you discussed these concerns with him?
No. I’m 100% sure he’ll tell his mum, and I don’t want anything that’ll cause the woman to have issues with me. However, if his mum’s constant involvement gets overbearing, I’ll have to bring it up and see what happens.
Away from this, how do you guys plan and budget for romance stuff?
We go out for pepper soup and beer dates at least twice a month. Justin pays the bills — which is about ₦12k. He also buys me airtime and data a couple of times. I buy food to cook at his house so we can eat together once a month. That includes his parents and two siblings. I also buy snacks and drinks for his siblings and mum when I visit.
So far, we only gift each other during special occasions. He bought me a dress for my birthday and gave me ₦30k for my hair and nails on Valentine’s Day. We also visited a restaurant for Valentine’s, and he paid the bill (about ₦50k). Justin’s birthday is in April, and I’m considering buying him headphones or a wireless mouse. My budget is ₦40k.
Do you have a financial safety net?
My elder sister is my safety net, but I also have ₦85k in a savings app. If I ever need emergency money, I can always run to her.
I assume Justin has savings, though he doesn’t talk to me about it. He doesn’t spend anyhow, so I can imagine he’s keeping his money for rainy days. He also once mentioned that we’ll probably have a joint savings account when we get married. We haven’t worked out the details.
Do you both have a timeline for when this wedding should happen?
I know his mum wants him to get married at 30. He’s currently 27, so we’re looking at the next three years.
Interesting. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
A future where we both earn well enough to live comfortably and have real estate investments. I hope to get a well-paying job after I finish NYSC later this year so I can save for the next three years and set up a business after we get married. I’m sure Justin will also support me financially when the time comes. I’d like to be a present wife and mother, and entrepreneurship is the only way I can control my time.
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*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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