Titanic is a story of forbidden love between two young people separated by social class but brought together by fate. It might as well be a Nollywood production, with Kunle Remi as Jack and Osas Ighodaro as Rose. Here’s what would happen in that version.
No iconic railing scene
What will carry Kunle and Osas to the railing? The rescue scene would’ve been different because Osas (Rose) would choose death by poison, and Kunle (Jack) would bring out juju from his pocket to raise her from death.
They’d meet at a wedding
The meet-cute would be at an owambe. Rose would be on the bridal train, and Jack would be a waiter. He’d rescue the drunk Rose from her older lover who’s trying to take advantage of her.
Rose would have a clique
What’s a Nollywood rich girl without a group of spoilt rich friends? They’d make snide remarks whenever they see Jack, and because they’re jealous of Rose — and secretly want her rich fiance for themselves — they’d help him find and kill Jack.
Rose’s fiancee, Cal Chief, would send boys to Jack
You want to follow big man to drag babe? After they break his left leg, kidnap his mother and set his house on fire, his family would threaten to disown him if he doesn’t avoid her.
One poor girl would try to get Jack’s attention
She’d either be a cleaner on the ship or the daughter of the cook. She’d warn Jack against Rose. Then she’d confront Rose to focus on her rich boyfriend and leave Jack alone before she costs him his life.
Jack would lose the drawing
After drawing the nude portrait of Rose, Jack would lose the painting in his room. His friend would stumble on it while cleaning the house two days later and use the picture to blackmail Rose.
NB: They’d use a body double for the drawing scene.
Rose would get pregnant
After her mother comes to her room to check up on her for skipping lunch, Rose would say she’s feeling feverish.
Mama Rose: Ehen, let me see your eyes *proceeds to search eyes for signs of pregnancy* When last did you see your period?
Rose: Ehn Mama, I think… *rushes to the corner to vomit*
Mama Rose: Chimooo, you’re pregnant! *throws herself dramatically to the floor and faints*
The ship won’t sink
After the ship hits the iceberg, the passengers would come together to kabash and shout seven thunderous hallelujahs. They’d be fine in the end (To God be the Glory).
But if it does, the passengers would pay money to get on the lifeboat
Nothing like first-class ticket. If you don’t pay the captain in cash, they’d leave you to sink with the ship.
Jack would name his unborn child before he dies
With his dying breath, he’d tell Rose the child should be named after his grandfather. Because he’s his mother’s only child, so he can’t come and die for nothing.
Rose would find out Jack was a prince all along
She’d trace his roots and meet his family only to discover he was a prince who was testing her the whole time.
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