Nigerian parents seem utterly incapable of saying “sorry”. When they realise that they’ve messed up — specifically beating you like a criminal — they’ll try to apologise with everything from food to credit. Here are 13 of their most famous lines that really mean “sorry”:
1. “Have you eaten?”
Is that what is important here?
2. “Come and check if this shoe/shirt is your size?”
You’re lucky I like new clothes.
3. “…”
The silence is always deafening.
4. “I left food in the kitchen for you.”
Is food your solution to everything?
5. “Come and stay in the parlour.”
Hian! Is it by force?
6. “Go and take meat.”
I will go and take, but I’m still vexing.
7. “Do you have credit?”
Oh? Now I’m not pressing phone too much?
8. “How much is that thing you said you wanted?”
Something I asked for years ago.
9. “You are still crying?”
You beat me minutes ago. Yes, I’m still crying.
10. “So I cannot correct you again?”
Do you always use eba stick to correct someone?
11. “Is that why you’re squeezing face?”
Should I be shining teeth?
12. “Do you want more food?”
Do you want to kill me with food?
13. “It was for your own good.”
Na so.
