We’ve all been there—sneaking a peek at that forbidden movie, or quickly shutting off the TV when our parents walk in. For many of us, childhood movie memories are filled with secrecy, disciplinary punishments and occasional embarrassment.
But what happened when we were caught? We asked five Nigerians to share their most memorable childhood movie moments; the ones that earned them a scolding, a slap on the wrist, or a beating.
Iyiola, 24
Growing up in a Christian home, everything we watched was scrutinised.
My mom banned us from watching Ben 10 because she believed the aliens were demons. That was 2004, around the time a pastor said he went to heaven, came back to earth and saw Ben 10 characters. The ban extended to the Wizards of Waverly Place because of magic, and then the Disney channels because of the high-school love scenes, boyfriend-girlfriend issues were too much for us. She also stopped us from watching House of Anubis because of the eye symbol. She detested anything with eye symbols.
Ayanfe, 28
It was Campus Girls, a film about university girls who like to go out to meet sugar daddies. They kissed on screen and all. My uncle, who rented the film, didn’t allow us to watch it but I snuck back to the parlour to watch it and they saw me. I was seven years old, but they beat me too much, I almost saw Jesus that day.
But to be honest, I don’t get why they beat me. Those actors had clothes on when they made out. It wasn’t different from other Yoruba films we saw. They didn’t beat me for watching Papa Ajasco that introduced Cossy Orjiakor that had all her boobs out and made Papa Ajasco shout “Oooh gbigbigbigbi.” I knew Cossy from there. Boy Alinco always said sexual things too. I wonder why it wasn’t an issue.
Now, the reason I hate that they beat people for watching explicit things more is another situation with my uncle when I was 11. I went to collect music CDs from him — 50 Cent, Ja Rule, etc. While selecting the CDs I wanted, I saw one that had “Blue Film” written on it. I played it, and saw “BJ” on screen. I was surprised and curious to see the rest, so I took it home. They caught me and beat the shit out of me. They didn’t hear the story that it was my uncle’s CD, or ask why he let a kid near that type of content. They rained all the blame and punishment on me.
Vanessa, 24
I got a VCD of 300, but we (my siblings and my mom) didn’t know what to expect from it. We decided to watch it while my mom was out. When she came back, it was still playing, but we had gone outside to carry what she brought home from her car.
When we entered, it was around the time the characters made out. My mom vexed and started asking, “What sort of rubbish are you watching?” and stuff. She shouted so much. Luckily, no cane. But she banned us from watching TV in her absence.
Juwon, 35
I was 12 and I skipped school one day to watch Fatal Attraction, a film that my neighbour had rented the day before and recommended we watch together. NEPA took light while we were at it. I tried using a screwdriver to open up the VHS player, but my old man met us when he came home during work break (unlike him). The whippings my dad gave me that day were insane.
Funke, 24
Instead of getting into trouble for watching certain films on my own, my uncles allowed me to stay and created one for me. When Spartacus and Game of Thrones were released and the pirated versions started making rounds in Nigeria, I was around 11 or 12. I developed an affinity for films when I was younger, so when my uncles watched films, I was allowed to sit in with them. As you know, Spartacus and Game of Thrones had plenty of sex scenes. So, whenever the sex scenes started, they’d send me out of the sitting room, “Oya. Go to the passage. We’ll call you back soon.”
Soon enough, I started telling the vibe and left the room whenever the sex scenes were about to start. I don’t even know if it made them [my uncles] impressed or wary.
It’s funny that some years later, I saw Game of Thrones again and watched all the sex scenes and it felt like a “What’s even there? Mtcheeew” moment. What was the point of sending me outside at every sex scene? It was unnecessary, unhelpful and stressful. I hated it.
