If you read the headline for this article and thought of Jessica Rabbit, you’re wrong. “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” — the movie Jessica is from — is kid-friendly because it’s a live-action movie featuring animated characters, but it isn’t a kids’ movie. I’m talking about female characters from cartoons that were made for kids. Characters like:
1) Miss Bellum (Powerpuff Girls)
There’s no reason why Miss Sara Bellum, the Mayor’s assistant, was this hot. I used to have a thing against skirt suits (I believed they were all ugly and shouldn’t be worn), but Miss Bellum singlehandedly changed my views on them. The added mystery of the show never really revealing her face made her even hotter.
2) Dexter’s Mom (Dexter’s Laboratory)
As far as I’m concerned, Dexter’s mom (who was never given a name) would sashay into every episode of that show in her signature outfit and apron, look into the camera and quietly whisper, “What waist?” I was obsessed.
3) Megara (Hercules)
I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe Meg’s energy when I first saw Hercules, but now I do. Meg was cunty as hell. Legend has it that Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” and the intro to Beyoncé’s “Pure Honey” were written about Meg. Legend also has it that I sometimes lie for comedic effect.
4) Elastigirl (The Incredibles)
Whoever came up with the phrase “Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal” was definitely talking about Elastigirl because GYATT DAMN.
5) Jasmine (Aladdin)
All I’ll say is that Aladdin using almost all of his wishes to impress Jasmine came as no surprise to me. I would’ve done the same thing.
6) Lola Bunny (Space Jam)
Yes, I know she’s a rabbit, but look at her! Why the hell was she so damn hot? Even Warner Bros knew they’d strayed far from God’s light designing her the way they did and putting her in the skimpiest of outfits that they had to tone it down the for the sequel.
