Who are Tacha’s Titans? What do they live for? What do they think about in their life? How will you identify them? This post will answer all your questions.
1. They always have the trident on their handle.
It is a sign of allegiance to their Queen Natacha Akide (popularly known as Tacha), the one who can do no wrong, the one who will replace President Buhari someday. You’ll wonder why their sign is a trident? Why not a fork or a spoon or a local broom? Well, Titans like to stand out. Also, if anybody insults their Queen, the trident will be used to shuk the person. Yes, shuk. I said what I said.
2. Titans move in packs.
Oh no, I’m not saying they have herd mentality. Who am I to say that? Dear Titans, I seek cover from your fury. What I am saying is that they think alike and do things the same way. For example, if someone comes online to say, “Titans, let us fight with XXX today,” the other Titans won’t bother to ask why. They just enter the fight and turn it to their own. Hashtags will now start flying everywhere. #XXXIsNothingToTacha; #XXXYouBeChewingGum
3. Titans like to donate their own babies.
Shey you know how Yoruba witches always say things like “Mothers, this is your baby oo”? Ehen, that is how Titans donate their own children to the web of Titanism. It’s part of generosity, you know, making the child a Titan even before the child can decide if it wants to be a Titan or not.
4. In case of a serious tragedy, Titans always have a contrary opinion.
Talk about being alte. Titans were alte before alte became cool.
Speaking of serious tragedy, have you heard of Abba Kyari’s death?
5. Titans will rather starve than let their queen go hungry.
The gist of this is that this Aunty went to dash Tacha money. Talk about pure generosity. Y’all don’t deserve Tacha, tbh.
6. Also, Titans cannot understand why you people ‘hate’ Tacha.
Shebi you know that Tacha is responsible for power shortage and all other things wrong in Nigeria and that is why people ‘hate’ her. Dear Titan, I apologize on behalf of these haters. They don’t know ho hard Tacha is working to change Nigeria. After all, she was the ONLY celebrity to make a video asking President Buhari to give people their money. Nigerians always hate what is good for them.
7. Titans have 4D vision. They can see the invisible.
For example, Tacha’s Titans can see that she is blushing while me, with my big eyes like two wraps of eba, I cannot see anything. Will I not beg Titans to open their club for me like this, dear God?
Anyway….
*draws out trident* It’s time to shuk people, you know….
Have you read this? There’s a mention of Tacha’s Titans in it too… 6 Disgraceful Kinds Of People On Nigerian Twitter
