If you’ve been on X in the last 24 hours, you’d have seen videos of an African-American woman narrating her marital experience in a 50-part TikTok series tagged “Who TF Did I Marry?” I wasn’t interested until I caught a snippet where she called her ex:
Naturally, I wanted to ask for the day off and focus on all 50 parts, but I’m a slave to capitalism and can’t be AWOL for eight hours of a working day. So, I decided to focus on the first 10 parts.
Don’t worry, it has enough drama to make you ask “Why are men?”
Let’s get into it.
Part one opens and Reesa Teesa introduces the series which sums up her tumultuous marriage. She quickly makes it clear that names will remain anonymous, and when you see her shining teeth, it’s a coping mechanism to help her get through without breaking down. God, abeg.
Now, let’s call the man Mr A. Reesa met him before the world entered the coronavirus lockdown in 2020. They’d been texting each other online and decided to take things to the next level. Cue: Physical meet-up.
Reesa’s car chose to act up on the day the Lord had made, but what’s a true love story when the damsel is not in hot rogbodiyan?
Mr A showed up and showed out. He was the complete gentleman who fixed her car, handled the bill and still took her on the date.
Reesa was impressed, and things picked up real sweet afterwards. Sadly, coronavirus came into the picture unprovoked, forcing the world into lockdown. But even lockdown and COVID couldn’t stop their love wantintin. Reesa and Mr A decided he should move into her apartment for quarantine because he had a smaller space.
Again, Mr A picked up most of the bills in the house quicker than anyone could blink, leaving out just a few for Reesa. Our lady was impressed. She’d never been with a perfectly gentle Odogwu who’d made it his life’s assignment to spoil her silly.
Thanks to the lockdown, they spent a lot of time together and got to know each other on a deeper level. Family, life’s goals and all that shebang.
Reesa learned Mr A has five siblings. He’d always call the oldest every day and plug in the classic Yoruba demon line “Our wife is greeting you,” and Reesa would holler back.
But get this, he never gave her the phone for any direct interaction.
Still in the “Getting to know ourselves better” phase, Reesa learned Mr A came with small baggage. He had an ex-wife and two step kids whom he had a healthy relationship with. His approval ratings went up another notch because a man who’s present in his stepchildren’s lives? A keeper.
Things continued to go well between them, and in May 2020, Reesa got pregnant. They both decided to buy their own house and move in as a proper couple. Again, Mr A took the front row and did the Lord’s work in making their dreams come true.
Enters major red flag number one.
Reesa found out Mr A never carried through with the plans to get a house.
He’d shown her a $750k document confirming he’d been approved for a mortgage and would pay for the house in cash. But when it was time to pay, he’d come up with batshit confusing stories about an offshore account.
Mr A finally returned and claimed he’d made a down payment. But when Reesa called the realtor to confirm, she discovered it was all lies.
The back and forth over the payment continued for weeks until she finally learned the house Mr A claimed he paid for had been bought by someone else.
Here, Reesa admits she should have packed her things and called it quits, but she gave Mr A’s lying ass the benefit of the doubt.
Fast forward to June, Reesa had a miscarriage that also required a medical procedure to make sure she was alright. Coincidentally, Mr A miraculously was promoted at work and was unavailable.
Reesa had to rely on friends and family to help her get through the phase. He was everything but the loving and caring guy she met months ago.
She finally forgave him and they decided to go house hunting again. This time, Reesa was involved in the entire process and found the perfect house. Mr A offered to pay $699k in cash, and Reesa was beyond flabbergasted.
When Mr A signed an offer for the house in her presence, Reesa was relieved. “He’s probably not lying this time,” She thought.
When the house sellers requested proof of funds to verify if Mr A had $699k cash for the house, the heavy lies returned, forcing both the realtor and sellers to pull out.
Again, Reesa was confused AF because didn’t he just say he had the money in cash? Also, he handled all the bills in the house without fail, so WTF was going on?
While the house-hunting shenanigan was still hanging in the air, Mr A pulled yet another trick. This time, he said he wanted to get a company car and also wanted his baby girl to get one.
Reesa, who drove an old model Nissan, was excited AF and went with him to the car dealership for a day of test driving. Listen, he had her drive everything from BMWs to Audi, Nissan Murano, Ford and Range Rovers. Eventually, she settled for an Audi.
In typical Mr A style, he said he was paying cash for the car, and also told Reesa’s family via Zoom calls that he was getting her a car.
Mr A asked the dealership if he could pay a holding fee to show commitment before he settled the rest of the fee. He later called Reesa and told her he’d paid for the Audi and gave her an expected delivery date.
Delivery day came, and Reesa was all excited to take delivery of her car within the hours of 1-3 p.m. Mr A promised.
It was finally 3 p.m. and there was no car, no calls from a delivery guy, just pin-dropping silence. Reesa called Mr A and went “It’s 3 O’clock. The car never came. Do I need to call Audi myself?”
Mr A was pissed AF, got defensive and said the delivery truck is stuck somewhere and would be delivered by the weekend. The weekend came, and there was still no car.
At this point, Reesa was tired of his BS and dragged him for filth.
Part 10 wrapped up with Reesa passing on his offer of a car, insisting she’d buy one when she could afford it.
At this point, she realised she was with a man who got his high from making promises he knew damn well he’d never fulfil.
If you’re invested in this story that is absolutely not your business, there are 40 more episodes to binge-watch when you have six hours that you’re not using.
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