Today, I will be recapping the 2022 Nollywood comedy, Chief Daddy 2.
Once upon a time, an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity trended on the internet. I did the dirty work of actually reading and recapping it. The article was so popular that I decided to make my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To “, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc.) and recap them for your pleasure.
Chief Daddy 2 came out on Netflix on the 1st of January, 2022 and was immediately followed by overwhelmingly negative reviews from both critics and viewers. I’ve spent hours since the day it premiered scouring the interwebs for a positive review and found none. It’s just been waves of anger and disgust. The bad reviews have even started a conversation on social media about the poor quality of recent Nollywood movies.
Here’s a hilariously named Twitter Spaces that took place on the 6th of January 2022.
Even funnier than the title, one of Chief Daddy 2’s producers was present and lurking in the shadows until she couldn’t bear the bashing anymore and took the mic to rant. LMAO!
The conversations about the movie piqued my interest so I decided to watch it. Now that I’ve seen it, I can say with my entire bosom that the critics aren’t wrong.
WARNING: Make sure you’ve seen the first movie and remember all the plot points and characters from it because I will not be jogging your memory.
The movie starts where the last one ended; with Laila (Rahama Sadau) showing up at the Beecroft family mansion and staring at it like she’s fighting the urge to burn it down.
Laila is revealed to be yet another illegitimate child of Chief Daddy who is fucking pissed because she grew up with his fatherly love and was excluded from his will. She has shown up from nowhere (seriously, we’re never told where she’s from or how she suddenly has all this power) to wreck the Beecroft family’s plans. She is somehow now the majority shareholder in Beecroft company and insists on not giving any of the family members the money Chief Daddy willed to them.
The family, who had almost gotten to Kumbaya status by the end of the last movie, are thrown into chaos again. They gather around the comically large dining table in the Beecroft family mansion to figure out what they’re going to do about this flimsy excuse for a sequel new threat to their funds.
Someone says they have to get rid of Laila. Femzy (Falz) thinks this is code for “murder” and starts thinking up ways to kill her. Lady Kay (Joke Silva) wakes up the next morning and is worried about not being able to throw a lavish 62nd birthday party for herself because she’s now a broke madam.
This is weird because her husband died like two weeks ago and she should be distraught. Then again, if I found out that a man I was married to for decades spent our entire marriage impregnating people around Nigeria like some kind of rabbit, I too wouldn’t give a shit about him dying.
She throws the party anyway but all the guests run for their lives when they realise that the party is giving…poverty. Femzy isn’t present for his mother’s disaster birthday party because he’s in the studio recording a song. He gets kicked out of the studio due to his inability to pay the studio fees.
Dammy (Mawuli Gavor), Chief Daddy’s eldest son and world-famous football player, is in London hanging out with some in-universe famous actress. She keeps giving him “fuck me” eyes but he doesn’t reciprocate because he’s now engaged to Adaora (Beverly Naya). When he gets up to leave, she goes in for a goodbye hug but plants a sneak attack kiss on his lips. Paparazzi get footage of this.
Dammy returns to Lagos and refuses to admit that he’s engaged during an interview because his manager insists that it’s better for his public image to be seen as a reckless bachelor than to be engaged to the daughter of a maid. Adaora is furious and demands to know if he takes their relationship seriously. He assures her that he does and as they’re about to makeup, the video of the famous actress kissing him goes viral. Adaora is fucking furious now and storms off to hang out seductively by the pool. Dammy approaches her and explains how the kiss happened.
They then engage in what I can only describe as the kissing equivalent of dry-humping in jeans.
Femzy has taken it upon himself to get his family’s fortune back from Laila. He first attempts to get close to her by getting a job at the company. It’s never made clear what role he’s going for, though, because he just walks into her office and demands that the company create an entertainment section for him. This doesn’t work so he comes up with the dumbest plan in movie history.
All Femzy needs to carry out his plan is money but he has none. Sisi Ice Cream (Linda Ejiofor) somehow comes up with the money needed and they both travel to Dubai. The moment they land, they run into a noisy ass cab driver named Omar (Brodda Shaggi).
Due to unintentionally unfunny hijinks, Femzy and Sisi Ice Cream run out of money before they can find a big music exec willing to invest in Femzy’s music. They decide to return home but Omar reignites Femzy’s passion by taking him to the Coca-Cola Arena (?)
This is strange because I’m pretty sure the thing they lack is money, not passion. Sisi Ice Cream would be great at writing “So You Don’t Have To” because she immediately points this out. Omar offers to let them stay at his place for a few weeks while he helps them search for a music exec he knows. Femzy calls Dammy to ask for some money so Dammy flies to Dubai with the money instead of just sending it to him. Dammy reveals that Omar doesn’t actually know any music exec and Femzy is angry as hell. These are Omar’s excuses for lying:
WHAT?!
Then Sisi Ice Cream goes:
WHAT IS GOING ON?!
In a last attempt to save his relationship with them, Omar suggests that Femzy perform at an open mic night somewhere in the city. Femzy does it and it goes kinda well (?) Honestly, I can’t tell. After that, Sisi Ice Cream suggests Femzy shoot his music video there so they all just go out in the weirdly empty streets and start filming.
And the music video goes viral. Because why the hell not?
They all return to Nigeria.
Dammy video calls Laila and convinces her to stop being so fucking bitter.
Dammy invites Laila to he and Adaora’s wedding. Laila gives a speech explaining that she’s no longer a villain. The entire family dances to Falz’ latest single.
Just so you know, Chief Daddy 2 is way more chaotic than this. I did my best to tie it all into a somewhat coherent narrative. I left out the subplot of Tinu and Teni (Funke Akindele and Kate Henshaw, respectively) courting the same man all through the movie and then deciding to both become his wives at the end because it grossed me out and made no sense.
That’s it. I’m done.
Someone please get me a painkiller.
