Today, I will be recapping the music video for Eedris Abdulkareem’s 2003 hit song, Live in Yankee.
Once upon a time, an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity trended on the internet. I did the dirty work of actually reading and recapping it. The article was so popular that I decided to make my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To “, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc.) and recap them for your pleasure.
The video starts with a visibly-distraught girl sitting on the bed of what is obviously a hotel room but is supposed to be her bedroom. I say this is because there’s a landline on the bedside table (only hotels do that shit), and the bedsheets and curtains are serving low budget guest house realness. Homegirl — whose name we never find out — is making a call, and as soon as it goes through, sings this:
Eedris, you promise sey you go marry me
See me you hurt me so badly
Remember na garri wey we dey wack eh
You don go yankee, you com forget me totally
Because I’m a messy bitch who lives for chaos, this is what I imagine she sings:
Eedris conveniently ignores the bit about him abandoning her and says that he actually set out to travel to Guinea but somehow ended up in America. If you’re hoping for an explanation of how the fuck that happened, don’t hold your breath because he doesn’t give one. He goes on to explain that while roaming the streets of New York looking for a record deal…
…he randomly came across P. Diddy…
…who immediately gave him a record deal…
…and billboard placements at Times Square (?)
You see, neither Diddy nor Eedris can rap so it makes perfect sense that one would sign the other.
Hearing about all the success Eedris has found without her, homegirl becomes even more distraught than she was when the conversation started and sings the chorus again, this time clutching a sad little stuffed sheep.
Eedris once again dismisses the obvious distress homegirl is in by saying:
And that makes me go:
Eedris talks about how P.Diddy gave him money to go shopping…
…and an obviously rented Lexus jeep.
This makes me wonder if P.Diddy took Eedris on as his artist or sugar baby.
A thing that happens all through the song that I LOVE is that whenever Eedris talks about a wild/amazing thing he’s done in America, homegirl interjects with adlibs that properly express the distress she feels from being abandoned. For example, Eedris sings about attending a party where Diddy gives him TWENTY Puerto Rican mummies to bump genitals with…
…and homegirl immediately screams:
Following it up with a gentle:
Probably because she can see the chances of Eedris returning for her slowly disappear with every story he tells.
The song goes on for a while and it’s just Eedris bragging about all women he’s slept with in the two years since he left. Just when you think all hope is lost for Homegirl, Eedris returns from America with a half bottle of champagne and two wine glasses to ask for her hand in marriage.
If you think Homegirl is going to slap him across the face and turn him down for abandoning her, you’re wrong. She puts on the ugliest wedding gown in existence…
…and runs up a comically long flight of stairs…
…to jump into his arms. And then they get married (?) I’m not sure tbh. Because as soon as they hug, the screen goes all wobbly like it does in movies when someone is daydreaming. The video ends with a shot of Homegirl angrily ripping a poster of Eedris off the wall of her room, and this insane shot of Eedris chilling with Ronald McDonald for some reason.
2003 was a very special time.
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