Once upon a time, I recapped an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity. The article’s popularity made me turn my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To“, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc) and recap them for your pleasure.

Today’s book is titled, “The Spiritual Dangers Of Women Wearing Trousers”.

“And that’s on period!” – The author of this book

The author starts with throwing shade at modern preachers who (so as to not lose church members) tell women that they’re allowed to wear whatever they want. He says that by encouraging women to wear trousers (i.e. the official attire of harlots), they are luring good men into partaking in the sin of lust. According to him, women starting to wear trousers in the 1950s somehow led to nudity in the 1960s and millions of unwanted pregnancies and abortions in the 1970s.

To that I say:

He follows this up with a psychological fact: That what a person wears affects how they think and behave.

Excerpt from lifehack.org

But proceeds to grossly misinterpret that by implying that a woman wearing something as revealing as a spaghetti top will eventually lead to her becoming the Whore of Babylon. This made me stop reading and ask out loud:

Because LMAO!

Another thing the author keeps mentioning is the bible verse that says women shouldn’t wear garments meant for men and vice versa because it’s an abomination (Deuteronomy 22:5). And this reminded me of a Quartzy article from 2019 titled, A Brief History of Women in Pants. Here’s a quote about that verse in the article from Gayle Fischer, an associate professor of history at Salem State University.

Points were made.

The author starts this chapter blaming feminism for the prevalence of lesbianism in today’s society. He also makes a long-ass reach by attempting to make a connection between feminism, homosexuality, and abortions.

See, I hate when people are just wrong for no reason. There are queer fashion designers all over the world dictating our standards of clothing. Not just in France.

He mentions something about women not wearing sexy blue jeans (are black jeans ok?) and then rambles for an entire paragraph describing, in graphic detail, how women in trousers lure men into sin.

Just look at how the he describes men. Like animals with no self control.

According to the author, the reason why old-timey women were amazing and beautiful wives is that they wore long, baggy, double dresses that hid their “upholstered buttocks” and stopped their private parts from being exposed by sunlight.

old christian woman in modesty dressing and trouser

What follows this is an unintentionally hilarious paragraph that heavily implies that any woman who subscribes to feminist ideologies will end up sad, divorced, alone, and grieving the side effects of an abortion gone wrong while wearing tight trousers and drinking beer.

Also, if you’re a woman who wears trousers, the author blames YOU for men who cheat and the destruction of their marriages. He also says that because you wear men’s clothing, you will eventually become a serial killer.

The book ends with a few praises any “pick me” woman would kill to hear from a man:

Until next week!

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