As someone who’s seen iRobot, Westworld and that Transformer-esque film with Osas Ighodaro, Ratnik, I’d like to announce with my full chest that I don’t trust Artificial Intelligence. Sure, it’s cute to hear an AI version of Drake singing Sungba, but what happens when they take over everything and enslave humans?
Maybe I’m exaggerating. But before any of that happens, I asked ChatGPT — the Beyonce of AI — for its top ten Nollywood movies of all time. While the list looks good, I don’t quite agree with everything.
Let’s get into this ranking.
10. 76
Rita Dominic giving the performance of a lifetime in an afro wig, Chidi Mokeme and Ramsey Nouah competing for “who looks sexier while under duress” and tons of wide-legged trousers — what’s not to love about Izu Ojukwu’s 76? This film works well because of its perfect casting, set design and costumes that’ll make you feel like you’ve stepped into one of your grandparents’ pictures from the 1970s.
My ranking: 5
9. The CEO
Despite a star-studded cast of Angélique Kidjo, Wale Ojo, Jimmy Jean-Louis and a cameo from AG Baby himself, nothing could stop Kunle Afolayan’s corporate crime thriller, The CEO from being a bore. How do you have all the right actors and a killer premise and still fail to excite an audience? The CEO isn’t one of Nollywood’s best films. Hell, it’s not even one of Kunle Afolayan’s best films.
My ranking: 10
8. Half of a Yellow Sun
Finding a movie adaptation of a book that actually does its source subject justice is hard, and unfortunately, Half of a Yellow Sun isn’t one of them. While the book cemented Chimamanda Adichie’s name as one of the best storytellers of our time, the film adaptation of Olanna and Odenigbo’s love story set against the backdrop of the Biafran War doesn’t quite translate the tension and heart of the book on screen. Half of a Yellow Sun, the movie, would’ve been great if we didn’t already have something to compare it to, but we do, and that’s the problem.
My ranking: 8. It’s right where it’s supposed to be.
7. The Wedding Party
Films like A Sunday Affair, Your Excellency and Chief Daddy may have tainted EbonyLife’s image, but let’s not forget the time they captured lightning in a bottle with The Wedding Party. This ensemble comedy kickstarted the “ensembles at a wedding or funeral” trope in Nollywood. The Wedding Party made Adesua Etomi a superstar, reminded us of Sola Sobowale’s greatness, showed us that RMD had officially entered zaddy status and warned us about all that could go wrong if amala finishes at a Yoruba wedding. Kemi Adetiba, the woman that you are.
My ranking: 7
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6. Lionheart
Genevieve is mother, and that’s on period. After years of giving us iconic performances, the actress pivoted to directing with 2018’s Lionheart
The best thing about Genevieve’s Lionheart is how it holds your attention with a simple and familiar story about family. Relying on beautiful shots of Enugu, the acting skills of legends, Genevieve’s killer wardrobe and a cringe singing scene between Peter Okoye and its director, Lionheart has earned this ChatGPT-given spot as one of Nollywood’s best films to date.
My ranking: 3
5. October 1
Kunle Afolyan’s October 1 is ambitious AF. From getting real-life Peugeots from the 1950s to casting the incredible Sadiq Daba as the lead, Kunle Afolayan pulled all the stops on this psychological thriller. Although the big reveal at the end falls flat because almost everyone can spot the serial killer from the start, October 1 is still an enjoyable ride, proving that Kunle Afolyan thrives best when helping his audience solve a mystery.
My ranking: 6
4. The Figurine
The Figurine is hands down one of my favourite Nollywood films of all time. Kunle Afolayan’s twisted, haunting tale delivers the most unexpected twist in its third act, leaving you at the edge of your seat screaming, “WTF?” Ramsey Nouah, the underrated Funlola Aofiyebi-Raimi, Omoni Oboli and Kunle himself gave a masterclass in acting. If aliens ever came to earth and asked to see a Nollywood film, best believe this is the film I’ll be showing them.
My ranking: 2
3. Ije
Chineze Anyaene’s Ije didn’t reunite Omotola Jalade Ekeinde and Genevieve Nnaji on screen for the fourth time, or use Asa’s Awe in its trailer, for ChatGPT not to include it on its list of the most iconic Nollywood films of all time. But while Ije is a beautifully shot and acted movie, giving it the third spot is a reach, dear. Not even the intense acting between two titans could elevate a mid script.
My ranking: 9
2. Osuofia in London
Maybe it’s nostalgia for when Nollywood comedies were funny without being forced or watching a Nollywood film shot abroad was a novelty. But something about my memories of Osuofia in London makes me incredibly happy. This film was so big back then, everyone practically aired Nkem Owoh’s real name and started calling him Osuofia. I heard a remake is in the works; honestly, they can keep it. I know I’ll prefer the original.
My ranking: 4
1. Living in Bondage
I know I said I couldn’t trust any AI, but it looks like ChatGPT snapped with their choice for the number one film. Nostalgia aside, the 1992 original is one of the best Nollywood movies ever.
From an original story that started Nollywood’s obsession with money rituals to its unforgettable lead characters, Andy and Merit, Living in Bondage was chaotic but iconic. It’s hard to talk about Nollywood without talking about the film that started it all, and Living in Bondage will always be THAT GIRL.
My ranking: 1
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