You wake up one morning with sweaty palms and your stomach rumbling, but is that love or hunger?
We caught up with twelve young Nigerians and asked them to describe their exes with a Nigerian food or snack and tell us why. Their responses will make you laugh and will definitely leave you hungry for a satisfying meal by the end.
“My ex is like Nigerian jollof rice, perfect in every way, but I had commitment issues, so we couldn’t make it work.” — Dare (26)
“Exactly like unripe agbalumo. It looked ripe on the outside but turned out to be sour when I bit into it with a healthy helping of maggots on the side. She was so immature and toxic.” — Yomi (28)
“They were like kuli kuli. They’re an acquired taste and can be very hard for some strange reason, but I liked our relationship while it lasted.” — Hanna (24)
“My ex was like efo riro with plenty obstacles. They say, ‘Better soup, na money kill am’. I mean, she was lovely but high maintenance, and I just didn’t have enough money to keep her in my life.” — Oyinda (25)
ALSO READ: Table Talk: She Loves Hard Dodo, but I’m About the Soft Life
“He was like one day old eba. The relationship was just there, it wasn’t my preferred situation, but I managed it.” — Toni (28)
“Very wicked girl, I’d say ewa agoyin because it’s a lovely eating experience, but the consequences will have you wondering if it was even worth it.” — Tomi (22)
“Like the most gorgeous plate of Mr Biggs fried rice without salt or seasoning. Because he seemed so amazing from afar, but as soon as I got close to taste, I saw tasteless rubbish.” — Eni (29)
“One of my exes was like cold semo. A disgusting, tasteless man and honestly a danger to my happiness. Thank God for deliverance.” — Aanu (24)
“Peppered ponmo. No value, no substance and no nutrients at all. Just pepper left and right.” — Dami (25)
“She was like custard. Very sweet but not a lot of substance. I don’t think we shared a lot of values even though we liked each other.” — Jide (29)
“He was like a big cup of ice cream. The only issue is I’m lactose intolerant so it led to mad heartache.” — Jemima (23)
“My lovely ex was like abacha. She was amazing, beautiful and people loved her but I couldn’t love her the way she deserved to be loved. For context, I can only have abacha in really small portions before I get tired of it.” — Wani (25)
If you don’t have any plans for Valentine’s yet, we have created the perfect plan for you to steal some love. Remember, love always finds a way: How to Plan A Valentine’s Day Heist, and Get Away With It
