Breakups make people do wild things. Logic goes out the window, pride takes a backseat, and suddenly, you’re doing things you never thought you’d do — all in the name of love (or, let’s be honest, desperation).
From faking pregnancies to relocating across the country, these five Nigerians share the extreme (and, in hindsight, ridiculous) things they did to try and win back an ex. Spoiler alert: none of it worked.
“I started posting Bible scriptures every morning.” — Temi, Male, 27
My ex broke up with me because she felt I wasn’t deep enough in the things of the Lord. So, to try and win her back, I started posting Bible scriptures every morning. I even ran a Bible study boot camp on WhatsApp for two months.
We still didn’t get back together, and she ended up dating the pastor of her youth church.
“I created a fake Facebook profile to talk to him.” — Tife, Female, 27
I was 15 at the time and completely heartbroken. So, in a desperate attempt to talk to my ex again, I created a fake Facebook profile.
Then he started catching feelings for my fake persona and asked me to send pictures. I had to block him to save what was left of my dignity.
“I lied that I was pregnant.” — Funmilayo, Female, 25
Lying is bad, I know. But at the time, I genuinely believed this was the only way to get my ex back. So, I lied that I was pregnant for him. He immediately became more attentive and asked us to get back together. The problem was I wasn’t pregnant.
So two-ish months later, I had to lie that I lost the baby when he travelled out of the city for work. Then I said that losing “the baby” made me too sad, and we had to break up. That was really crazy, and I would not recommend it.
“I spent ₦250k on getting better at sex.” — Alexandra, Female, 29
When my ex and I split, I convinced myself it was because our sex life wasn’t great. So I did what any rational person would do — I spent ₦250k on injections that claimed to improve the feel of my vagina.
The worst part? He never gave me another chance, so I have no idea if they even worked.
“I moved from Lagos to Abuja for her.” — Kunle, Male, 30
I was convinced distance was the only reason my ex and I didn’t work out. After weeks of begging and getting no response, I decided to take drastic action.
I packed up my life in Lagos and moved to Abuja, where she was working. I thought if she saw how serious I was, she would take me back.
She didn’t. By the time I got there, she had already moved on. I was left stranded in a city where I barely knew anyone. A year later, I quietly moved back to Lagos, fully humbled.
