Let’s talk true; we’ve all had that moment of curiosity (and maybe mild panic) when we’re about to encounter our partner’s private parts for the first time and don’t know what to expect. “Is it big or small?” “What shape is it?” and so on.
For these Nigerian women, their experiences ranged from amusing to endearing and even a little shocking.
Uche*, 25
My boyfriend is 27, so imagine my shock when I first saw his pubic hair and found streaks of grey! It was such a jarring sight because I didn’t even know people went grey down there, especially not a young person. I had to ask if he’d dyed it as a joke, but he said it was natural. It was so unexpected, but now I think it’s kind of cute.
Yinka*, 26
It took about a year of dating before my boyfriend and I decided to get intimate. We’d kiss, smooch and do other stuff, but we never crossed the line of pulling our clothes and doing the real thing. The day we finally got intimate, I remember pausing because I’d never seen foreskin up close before. I had so many questions: Is this normal? Shouldn’t it look different? He laughed and said it was perfectly normal and only looked that way because he didn’t get a circumcision. I had to do a Google search later just to ascertain if all was truly well and fine.
Toun*
I was surprised and scared. I already knew what the male reproductive organ looked like, but I wasn’t prepared for what it would be like on a grown man. I had no idea it could grow and change size like that, so I just sat there watching it happen, completely stunned. The size was overwhelming, and I wondered how it would fit. It became an issue between us at some point because it felt like it was just too big. But with time, my body adjusted, and things got easier.
Bisi*, 28
I’ve had my fair share of weird, nauseating smells while going down on a partner, so when I met my current partner, I already had this stereotype in my head that men don’t pay attention to grooming down there. But my guy shocked me. Everything was neat, trimmed, and moisturised. He probably uses scented powder or cologne, I don’t know which, but I’ve never gone down for some mouth action and twisted my face in disgust. However, I’m not sure if it’s healthy practice for him to use scented products on his private parts.
Fola* 32
Don’t get me wrong; size doesn’t matter if the guy knows his way around and gets creative with foreplay. However, I was slightly underwhelmed when I first saw my husband’s private part. It looked really small, and it wasn’t all that much, even when he got hard. Over time, I realised he more than makes up for it in other ways. Plus, my husband loves toys. However, I’ve never been able to get him to agree to a strap-on. Whatever the case, I firmly believe that size isn’t everything.
Fatima, 25*
My ex-boyfriend is light-skinned, and I’d always wondered what he looked like before we got intimate. However, the first time I saw his private parts, I couldn’t stop staring. His skin is a fair caramel colour, but his penis was so much darker in comparison. One would have thought he bleached his skin and left out that part of his body. I had to ask him if it was a health issue, but he laughed it off and said it was normal. It took some time to get used to the distinct imagery. Now, it’s something we joke about when we’re being silly.
Dera*, 23
I know pubic hair is normal, but I wasn’t expecting to find that much hair on “the twins”. It caught me off guard, and I may have giggled a bit. It was almost like holding a distressed volleyball. He later explained that it gets extremely itchy whenever he shaves his balls, so he doesn’t bother. I thought he would get offended, but he joked about the entire thing.
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