Friendships don’t always have to end with a dramatic fight or a big betrayal. Sometimes, you just outgrow each other, or they show you a different side to them that makes it easy to use your scissors.
If you think compatibility only applies to romantic relationships, these stories will leave you in various degrees of “God abeg” and “God forbid”.
Joe*
I met this guy during the fuel scarcity period that followed the subsidy removal. We’d always bump into each other at the filling station, and it didn’t take long for us to start talking. We’d trade football banter as we waited our turn and watch over each other’s kegs. He seemed like a cool dude, so I asked for his number during one of our meet-ups. We weren’t friends yet, but from our conversations, I knew it was only a matter of time.
About three weeks later, he said he wanted to visit, and I didn’t think it was a bad idea. He showed up on the agreed day, but this person looked nothing like the guy from the filling station. Something about him was off, and he kept steering our conversation towards drugs and alcohol. Last last, he pulled out a bag of weed and offered it to me. Thankfully, I was the only one at home that day. I politely declined, and once he left, I knew he wasn’t my type of person. That was the last time we saw each other.
Ibrahim*
I think uni fools people into believing they’ve found lifelong friends. You feel close for those four years, but the real test comes when you leave the place that brought you together. That’s how I discovered my “friend” wasn’t really my kind of person. We both served in Ibadan, and since he had a big house, he offered to let me stay with him instead of renting a place. It felt like a good deal, plus I didn’t tell my parents so I could keep the rent money.
Looking back, it was the stupidest decision ever. I started seeing a side of him that hadn’t surfaced all the years we’d schooled together. He and his parents were controlling, and sometimes, I genuinely wondered if I was under a spell. On top of that, their approach to everything, especially religion, was extremist. Living with him during NYSC showed me that we weren’t cut from the same cloth. Somehow, uni had shielded that part of him. We still talk, but he wouldn’t even make my top 15 friends.
Sodiq*
He got me addicted to visiting brothels. It started on my birthday when he said he had a surprise for me. I thought we were going to an eatery or something, but he took me to a brothel outside school. I’m not going to lie; I enjoyed that night and many others that followed, mostly because he footed the bill. We even started taking all sorts of substances to “boost” our performance. Then it got out of hand—I was missing classes and constantly high.
After bagging two E grades and one STD, I knew I had to save myself. There was no beef; I just manufactured one because it was clear we were no longer on the same wavelength.
Nugwa*
It happened during a heated Twitter discourse. We weren’t exactly friends but had gone past being mere acquaintances. I can’t remember the exact issue, but it was something about how a woman was treated by her partner. His takes on marriage and domestic abuse left me in shock. We’d never had conversations like that, so seeing how he thought about women was eye-opening—and disturbing.
Suddenly, I remembered all the times he’d casually said he was a beast when he was angry, and nobody could calm him down until he “drew blood.” I tried confronting him about it, but he lied, claiming he was only bantering. It was more than banter to me. I no longer felt comfortable calling him a friend, and the budding friendship died a natural death. God forbid.
Desola*
I met her during registration week in my first year of uni. She was super helpful and seemed to have all the answers. We hit it off immediately. A few days later, I ran into her again and mentioned I was looking for a flatmate. She was also squatting with a family friend and needed a place, so we moved in together. Some of my best memories from 100 level are from living with her.
But things got weird in 200 level. She became more outgoing, constantly had boys over, and you could tell who was visiting based on the shoes outside her door. She’d take weekend trips to Lagos and return with wads of fresh cash. I’d ask what was going on, but she’d wave me off, saying I should keep doing my “big girl.” Rumours started circulating that she was stripping and doing “runs,” but I didn’t want to believe—or ask. What really bothered me was that people thought we were both involved. I couldn’t move out yet, but I started keeping my distance.
Aisha*
We resumed 400 level, and my roommate of three years—who used to be my bestie—suddenly transformed into a hijab-wearing sister. We were both practising Muslims, but neither of us was the typical scarf-wearing, mosque-going type. That was one of the things that bonded us. I’d even assumed she was Christian when we first met because she was cool and carefree.
I tried not to act too shocked about her new look, but the real issue was how she started nitpicking and used every opportunity to preach to me. To this day, I don’t know what happened during that break, but it was clear my friend didn’t come back. We stayed cordial for the rest of our time in school, but the friendship had obviously sailed.
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