Breakups have a way of sneaking up on you, and sometimes, the signs are clearer in hindsight.
We spoke to seven people about the unforgettable moments leading up to their breakups. Here’s how they knew it was over—or didn’t.
Blessing*
I dreamt we had a huge fight, and he said he was breaking up with me. Our relationship was in a delicate place at the time, and all the reassuring we’d been doing wasn’t working anymore. When I woke up, I saw several voice notes from him about how glad he was that we had crossed paths and how beautiful the future looked for us. I should have known he was fattening the cow for slaughter. The next day, he invited me to dinner and gave me the most impeccable “It’s not you, it’s me” sermon I’d ever heard. I couldn’t even be mad because he presented his case so well that I nodded in agreement. He dropped me home that night, and that was when it dawned on me.
Bukola*
That whole week, I knew something was off. He was acting erratic—buying me things I’d asked for ages ago, then swinging into bad mood. I got the dreaded “We need to talk” message on Friday night on WhatsApp. I didn’t overthink it; I just assumed I’d done something wrong, and he was finally ready to address it. I went to bed, scrolling through our pictures and throwback videos. The next day, I found out his “need to talk” was actually a breakup. I didn’t see it coming, and it messed me up.
Debbie*
We broke up on a Tuesday. The night before, he didn’t call to say goodnight or chat about my day, which was weird because it was a tradition we’d followed for as long as I could remember. I assumed he’d had a long day or that his work trip to Ogun had tired him. I told myself I’d bring it up the next day. Jokes on me because there was no “us” the next day. I woke up to a long breakup text he sent in the middle of the night, knowing I’d be asleep.
Ayo*
The day before? It felt like any other day. We spent it at my place since we were both on leave. We cooked, watched our favourite TV show while cuddling, went for a run, and had the best sex ever. Something about the intimacy felt different, though—she let me do things she’d usually stop, and I let her do things I wasn’t a fan of. That night, we fell asleep listening to our favourite playlist. The next morning, she asked to talk and then dumped me.
Raymond*
The day before, I had small panic attacks. I felt this unsettling sense that something was coming, even though I didn’t know what. When I feel like that, I pray and try not to leave the house, hoping I can hide from whatever evil is out there. The next day, she called me in the evening and broke up with me. Worst part? She was already seeing someone else.
Ibrahim*
She’d been cold and distant for three weeks before the breakup—cancelling plans, dodging my attempts to communicate and acting uninterested. The day before my birthday, I tried to get her to come over to plan what we’d do. She made up some weird excuse about her granny, and it didn’t add up. Thoughts of getting dumped started creeping in; I didn’t want to believe it. The next morning, a delivery guy showed up with a huge package from her. I thought all the weirdness had been part of a plan to surprise me. I opened the note, and that’s how I found out I’d been dumped. She didn’t even let me enjoy my birthday in peace.
Henry*
The day before, we had this heavy, emotional conversation. We were both crying, explaining how we were unintentionally hurting each other. We talked at my place, and afterwards, she insisted on returning home to Ajah, even though it was 9 p.m. and I live in Surulere. I tried to convince her to stay, but she was determined to leave. As her ride pulled away, something inside me knew it was the last time I’d see her. I was right—she broke up with me the next day and left for her master’s two months later.
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