So, orgy season is approaching and nobody has invited you to one yet. Sure, you know some of the things you should never do at an orgy, but what about things you need to throw a successful one? That’s where we come in. Here’s a list of eight things you definitely need to have a successful orgy.
1) Food and drinks
People need to eat. Imagine having sex for long hours with multiple people and there is no food to eat? No water or juice? O wrong nau. You also need to take into account people’s dietary requirements. Imagine giving a lactose intolerant person a cheese sandwich to eat? The horrors.
2) Drugs
In case the NDLEA is going to read this, we just want to state that we do not mean illegal drugs like Molly, Cocaine, Marijuana or crack. What we actually mean is drugs like paracetamol, Flagyl, ibuprofen, and a first aid kit. It is very irresponsible to have a group of more than five people and not have a first aid kit.
3) Guest List
If it is going to be an anonymous event, you still need a guest list. You need to know how many people are coming (tee hee) and plan for it. You also want to make sure you do not accidentally invite two people that cannot stand to be in a room together. Imagine coming for an orgy but instead witnessing an intervention?
4) Toys, toys, toys
You are to prepare for people to do very nasty and indescribable things. So get your ropes, swings, feathers, plugs blindfolds, rockers, and your hundred and one stimulation and penetration devices. Everyone knows sex is better when toys are involved.
5) Compulsory STD and STI testing
Every participant should be properly screened and tested for any sexually transmitted disease or infection. For their safety, and the safety of the other guests who are involved. Nobody wants to catch gonorrhoea from an orgy.
6) Lubricant and condoms
Lubricant is essential because it makes sex easier. Plus, some sexual acts need extra stimulation, and groundnut oil or spit will not be enough. There are various types of lubricants to choose from. Also, condoms not only help to curb the transmission of diseases that maybe were not picked up in the text but also, raising an orgy baby seems stressful.
7) Clean up services
Orgies are expensive and one of the reasons why is because you will outsource everything, and cleaning is no exception. It’s also advised the cleaners sign some sort of NDA, especially if the scenes get a bit too intense and some blood might be found.
8) Accommodation
Not everyone that comes for the orgy will be able to leave when it ends. In fact, does an orgy even end? You need to provide a space where they can sleep and rest when they’re tired and unable to go to their houses. Do you just plan on throwing them out after everything?
