Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now
In this episode, Aunty Z! helps a woman navigate trying to get rid of a crush, and talks to another about the need to love short men.
Dear Aunty Z!,
I really don’t have relationship issues as I’m a single pringle. I’m just curious to know who you tell your issues to if you’re here fixing everyone’s issues? Oh, I have a crush on this guy that doesn’t want to go away. It is super annoying and I’m really over this feeling, but the feeling is not even shaking.
–Athena, 26
Dear Athena,
I see you worrying about me. You’re sweet. Don’t worry, I have many people to talk to – in this Zikoko compound alone, dem plenty. Now to the reason we’re gathered here today: your crush.
Girl, those things are stressful. Trust me. You will be on your own, they will cross your mind or text you and all of a sudden your body will start doing gbim gbim. It’s the worst.
Here, I’ll suggest two things: you can tell him how you feel – I know you’re thinking “is Aunty Z! trying to kill me?” Maybe. I’m kidding, but you never know what could happen there. The worst thing he can say is that he doesn’t feel the same way. You chop your L and bounce.
The other thing, which I personally think is what you’ll go for – try and create some distance between the both of you. I don’t know if you work together or you are friends, but it may be necessary to create some kind of mental and physical distance. So maybe not communicating with them as much or when you think about them, try to distract yourself with some other activity (e.g. take a bunch of Zikoko quizzes and read our articles, my dear you will almost forget this person exists). That said, you could also just wait it out. It’s a crush and those things don’t usually last forever. You’ll get over it soon enough. If you’re not over it by New Year’s, message me, I will call my baba, and we’ll make this a spiritual situation.
–Love, Aunty Z!
Dear Aunty Z!,
I finally found someone perfect but he’s short. I love him a lot and he treats me really well, I’m not just sure about navigating a relationship with a short man.
– Aunty Z!
Hello,
So last week, it was someone claiming to be my ex. This week, it’s someone who is impersonating me? Identity theft is a very serious offence, but I’d let it slide this time.
If I’m getting you correctly, you found someone perfect for you. As in, in this Nigeria where everyone’s head touches frequently, you found someone whose own brain touch complements yours. He also treats you very well and loves you as much as you love him. Babe, with all the breakfast they’re serving outside, you found something good and the problem is that he is short? Haba nau. Come off it. Our short kings deserve love too.
If it was that his height stopped both of you from being intimate, then that’s a huge issue, but what makes navigating a relationship with a short man hard? It’s the same way you navigate every relationship. With honest conversation, love and trust. Does his height make him any less of a man or do you think that taller people are better partners because they are closer to heaven? What will his being taller change about your relationship?
I sense that some of this may be due to some external pressure or narrative that as a woman you must be with a man that’s taller than you. I’m here to tell you that height doesn’t mean shishi. You’ve checked off the things that matter – mutual love and respect – so why are you giving yourself a headache? My darling, please love your short man and love him well. Don’t let society’s warped ideals ruin your chance at a good thing.
– Love, the REAL Aunty Z!
Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!
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