Choosing the perfect partner can sometimes be an extreme task for a bad bitch like you and that’s why we are here to help you solve that problem.
Brace yourself, babes. Here’s what to do.
1. Make a list of most attractive to least attractive.
This might be a little difficult, especially if you have really good taste, but there’ll definitely be someone on that list who is finer than the other person. It’s best to choose the least attractive person — you can trust that one to not cheat on you.
2. Wear a blindfold, arrange them in a straight line and throw a knife.
Anyone the knife touches is your partner. The fact that the knife didn’t kill them means they are strong enough to be with you and they are the perfect partner for you. It also means they are going to willingly lay down their life for you.
3. Write out their names on different strips of paper and put it in a bowl of water.
The paper that doesn’t sink has the name of the person that’s for you. Their name not sinking means they can withstand anything that comes their way and they will make sure your relationship with them never sinks.
4. Create your version of the squid game and make all of them participate.
You’ll know how serious each of them is by their willingness to participate in the game and how far they’ll fight for your love. The last person standing when the games are over is obviously the one you should spend the rest of your life with.
5. Ask them; If a house is burning, who will they save. You or their mum?
Anyone who says they’ll save their mum clearly doesn’t love you. Why are they saving their mum who has lived a full life over saving you? Saving their mums over you means they have been lying the whole time about how they feel.
6. Take their names to a Babalawo and tell him to show you your future partner.
Take their names to a Babalawo to tell you who you’ll end up with.
N.B: This should always be your last resort.
