Valentine’s Day is still a couple of weeks away, but you know what they say about being proactive—if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready. Why wait until February 13 to start shouting “God, when?” when you can take charge and find the love of your life right now?
Follow this foolproof guide and secure a temporary situationship before February 14.
Pretend you’re a gym enthusiast
Everyone knows gyms are where the hottest singles hang out in January, trying to lose the weight gain from Detty December and stick to their “New Year, New Me” resolutions. So, dust off those trainers and sign up. You don’t have to actually work out—just look busy while scanning for potential baes. Bonus points if you “accidentally” bump into someone while pretending to lift weights.
Post more thirst traps
If the love of your life isn’t sliding into your DMs, you’re simply not posting enough. Show some skin, use a filter, and caption it with something vague like, “Looking forward to February.” If that doesn’t get people shooting their shot, then maybe it’s time to move to the next step.
Rekindle something with an ex
So what if they cheated? Or ghosted you? Or still owe you ₦20k? The past is the past, and the point is, you’re not trying to spend February 14 alone. Send a “Happy New Year” text, and see where it leads. A temporary situationship is better than no situationship at all.
Download ALL the dating apps
If you’re not swiping at least 100 times daily, you’re not trying hard enough. Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Grindr, Badoo—download them all and say yes to every “let’s see where this goes” message. Who cares about compatibility? You’ll figure that out after securing your Valentine’s Day high.
Shoot your shot with everyone in your office
Workplace romance isn’t ideal, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Just pick someone, compliment their lunch choices for a week, and ask them out for drinks. Who knows? They might be just as tired of spending every Valentine’s Day as a single pringle just like you.
Take what belongs to Caesar
Listen, sometimes the love of your life is just temporarily with someone else. It’s not your fault their partner doesn’t know how to treat them right. Do your research, slide into their DMs with precision, and show them why you’re the soulmate they never knew they needed. It’s not stealing; it’s a redistribution of love to where it belongs.
Manifest your bae
At this point, if all else fails, it’s time to put your faith in the universe. Light a scented candle, write down your ideal partner’s qualities, and chant, “My February 14 boo is coming” three times. We can’t promise it’ll work, but it’s worth the try.
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