Breakups are hard, but they hit different when your partner decides to make a public service announcement about it online. Whether you’re the victim or the villain in the story, here’s your ultimate Zikoko guide to navigating post-breakup internet drama like a pro.
1. Pause before reacting
The streets are waiting for your clapback, but don’t give them the satisfaction. Take a moment to breathe and let your emotions settle. A rushed response could make you the meme of the week.
2. Document everything
You need receipts for future reference. Whether it’s for your therapist, lawyer, or group chat, you’ll thank yourself for documenting the mess.
3. Check if they tagged you
If your ex tagged you in the breakup post, it’s game on. You can’t be blindsided like that without deciding whether to untag, block, or drop an equally dramatic post.
4. Secure your social media
Change your passwords, lock down your accounts, and prepare for random trolls sliding into your DMs. The internet is full of overzealous judges.
5. Update your bio
Were you one of those couples with matching bios? Quickly edit yours before people start zooming in and analysing your emotional state.
6. Alert your squad
Before your friends learn from the blogs, send a quick SOS to your inner circle. They need to be armed and ready to defend your honour online.
7. Mute your ex
Unfollowing them might seem dramatic, so mute their account instead. Out of sight, out of mind, but still within reach for reconnaissance.
8. Curate your own narrative
If you must address the situation, keep it classy. A simple “We’ve decided to part ways, but I wish them the best” will do. No need to turn it into an episode of The Real Housewives of Instagram.
9. Prepare for public questions
Everyone from your nosy aunty to your office colleagues will ask, “What happened?” Have a generic response ready, like, “We just grew apart.”
10. Stay off social media
As tempting as it is to scroll through comments dissecting your relationship, resist the urge. Social media is a circus, and you don’t need to perform.
If you need support with going through a rough divorce or breakup, don’t hesitate to get in touch with a self-help service provider like this one.
