Making new friends as an adult is hard. Making friends with Nigerian women? That’s a different level of difficulty. Between men who mistake friendliness for flirting and women who’ve been burnt by shady friendships, many women are cautious about letting new people into their circle. But if you genuinely want to be her friend, here’s how to do it without looking suspect.
“See gist? Join gist”
You can’t form a friendship without conversation. If she’s passionately arguing about whether Wizkid or Davido is the GOAT, and you have something interesting to add, that’s your in. Just don’t be a contrarian for vibes. Nobody likes the person who kills the flow of a conversation just to be different. *Amaka, 28, shares:
“One of my closest friends today is someone I met at a restaurant. I was ranting about how some Nigerian waiters are super friendly, and she jumped in to agree. We started gisting like we had known each other forever. I left with a friend and a new restaurant plug.”
Pro tip: If you’re jumping into a conversation, add something meaningful or funny. Don’t just agree for agreement’s sake — contribute something that keeps the gist flowing.
“Never underestimate bathroom breaks in social gatherings”
If you’re looking for an organic way to make friends, the women’s bathroom in a fancy restaurant, club or even at all-women events like #HERtitude is prime real estate. Compliments flow freely, and bonds are formed over lipstick adjustments and outfit malfunctions. *Bimpe, 27, shares how she met two of her closest friends:
“Two of my cutest friendships started in the bathroom of a lounge. One was from helping a girl adjust her wig, and the other was from complimenting a woman’s dress. We exchanged numbers, started hanging out, and now, we’re pretty tight. To be honest, I’ve had to slow down a little because I’m always ready to make friends whenever I run into cute babes in the restroom. I watched Ayra’s “All The Love” video, and it was so relatable.”
Pro tip: A well-timed compliment is the ultimate icebreaker. If you see a babe struggling with her outfit, offer to help. Just don’t be overfamiliar; read the room.
TAKE THE QUIZ: Are You Really Your Best Friend’s Best Friend?
“Shared interests are your best bet”
Friendships thrive on common ground. If she’s talking about something you love — books, music, fitness, anime, skincare — contribute to the conversation naturally. You don’t need to force a deep connection in one conversation; just keep showing up and engaging over time. *Ife, 34, shares:
“I made a friend because she saw me reading a book she loved and struck up a conversation. Another one happened at the gym. She was struggling with a routine, I helped out, and we ended up bonding over how wicked personal trainers can be. We aren’t exactly friends friends, but we’ve gotten to that point of just looking out for each other in the gym. I think there’s a future where we become besties if we both lean into it. Fingers crossed.”
Pro tip: If she mentions something you’re also passionate about, don’t just nod, engage! Ask about her favorite book, recommend a song, or suggest a workout challenge if it’s a gym situation.
“Don’t lead with ‘Let’s be friends’”
Friendship is best when it happens naturally. Telling someone outright that you want to be their friend can come off as strange or even suspicious. Focus on being a fun, engaging person, and let the connection form on its own. *Kenny, 30, shares:
“A babe once came up to me at a wedding and said, ‘I think we’d make great friends.’ I smiled, but in my head, I was like, ‘Why? Do you want to use me for ritual?’ Obviously, I didn’t say that to her, but I felt the exchange was so random. I gave her my number sha because I didn’t know how to turn her down.”
Pro tip: Let the friendship form naturally through conversation and shared experiences. Announcing your intentions might make things super awkward.
“The mutual friend route is your surest plug”
If you and a potential friend have a mutual connection, use that to your advantage. Group hangouts, bridal showers, birthday parties, or even WhatsApp group chats are solid ways to ease into a new friendship without the awkwardness of a cold approach. *Esther, 24, shares how she connected with a babe on an aso-ebi girlies WhatsApp group.
“I became friends with a girl because we were both on the bridal train of a wedding. We didn’t even like the bride that much, but we bonded over the ridiculous tasks they were giving us.”
Pro tip: Use group hangouts or online interactions to build rapport first. If you’re in a WhatsApp group chat together, react to her messages, share jokes, and ease into private conversations.
“Be consistent, but don’t force it”
Friendships need time to grow, so check in, send memes, and invite her out once in a while. But if she’s not reciprocating the energy, take the L in peace and move on. Not every friendship shot will land, and that’s okay. *Tolu, 28, can relate.
“I remember liking this girl in my first year in uni. She just had this really cool vibe and I wanted to be in her clique so bad. We had a couple of exchanges in class, but she wasn’t getting my green light. So, I switched things up and tried to befriend her. But every time I reached out, she was either busy or unresponsive. I’d keep space for her in public lectures, and she’d appreciate my effort but it never went past that. I eventually took the hint and moved on. No hard feelings.”
Pro tip: Friendships should be mutual. If she’s not reciprocating your energy, don’t overstay your welcome. Some shots will miss, and that’s okay. Focus on people who genuinely want to connect.
Speaking of women supporting women, have you copped your tickets to #HERtitude2025? It’s Zikoko’s all-female concert, designed just for you. Don’t miss out on good vibes, great music, and a chance to connect with the hottest babes in Nigeria. Grab your tickets here.
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