A few days ago, I got pulled into an interesting conversation about stress eating. Adelayo* (26) shares how pressures at work led to her developing a poor coping habit— binge eating. She also opens up about how maintaining this habit and keeping it a secret adds to her stress.
This is Adelayo’s story as told to Betty
I like to think of myself as a foodie. I love the experience of eating a meal, from the textures to the visual presentation, but when I binge eat, it’s never from a place of enjoyment.
Growing up, I never had a problem with food. Like I said, I enjoy food, but I’ve always had really good control of my appetite. I ate a fairly balanced diet for a Nigerian and worked out regularly. But when I moved to Lagos in 2024, everything changed. The pressures of my job have made it hard to manage stress in a healthy way.
I work as a video editor, and my deadlines can be pretty demanding. The stress from work has now led me to overindulge in food. The first time I made a big mistake at work was in March 2024. I had missed an important deadline, and my manager dragged me during a meeting in front of our entire team. I felt really embarrassed. When I got home that day, I ordered a pizza and a plate of rice and ate till my stomach hurt. I was bloated for days after, and I weirdly relished the painful feeling of my overfull stomach.
Weirdly enough, it worked— at least on the surface. I didn’t mess up at work for months. But then, in September, I got in trouble again after making another mistake. That night, I ate two packs of Oreos, three plates of rice from different restaurants, and downed a litre of juice. At some point, I had to throw up because my body literally couldn’t take it. I felt disgusted. But I also felt like I deserved to feel that way. I wasn’t doing well at work, and in my head, this was my consequence.
It’s been like that ever since. In December, I ordered five packs of food from a popular restaurant. I didn’t even eat them because I was hungry, I ate them because I felt bad about missing a brief. The next morning, my friend dropped by unannounced. She saw all the empty food packs and asked if I’d had people over. I lied and said yes. What else could I say?
Since the start of this year, I’ve been having at least two binge-eating episodes a month. It’s getting harder to ignore. I can barely afford the food, and I’ve gained noticeable weight, which has people asking questions. But no one sees me eat like this because I don’t do it around others. I live alone, which makes it easy to hide—for now.
Still, I can feel the secret getting heavier, literally and emotionally. The anxiety of being found out has triggered even more episodes. It’s a vicious cycle I don’t fully understand, and if I’m being honest, I’m not even sure I’m ready to stop. I’m currently saving to see a therapist, hoping that talking to someone might help me untangle all of this. Until then, I’m carrying this quiet, painful, embarrassing secret alone.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can access free or low-cost therapy options here.
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