Yesterday was International Men’s Day, and while some guys might pretend not to care, we know accountability in friendships is a big deal. From calling each other out on bad behaviour to getting family members involved, these Nigerian men share how they keep their guys in check.
Emeka*
I’m the kind of friend who will call you out on your bullshit without sugarcoating. If I think you’re messing up, I’ll tell you straight. My guys know me as the one who isn’t afraid to speak the truth, even if it stings. Sometimes, we ignore each other for weeks, but when they cool off, they return and say, “Omo, you were right.” It’s tough love, but it works.
Tunde*
I have a method of holding my friends accountable that’s not exactly conventional. If someone in our circle is slipping—be it with work, relationships, or just generally acting out—I report them to family members they respect. Whether it’s a big brother or even their mum, these people have a way of speaking sense into them that I can’t. Some people would probably call it snitching, but I think it’s an act of caring.
Dimeji*
For me, accountability is about keeping the right energy in our circle. If someone is out here wilding, I organise an intervention. We all sit down, have a heart-to-heart, and make sure he knows we’re doing this out of love. We’ve managed to pull one of our boys back from a downward spiral using this method, and he’s still grateful to this day.
Chuka*
I’m the youngest in my friend group, but I don’t let that stop me from speaking up. If I feel like one of my older friends is messing up, I’ll send a long voice note or text explaining my point. Sometimes they listen; sometimes they brush it off. But I never keep quiet when something feels off because real friends hold each other down.
Kelechi*
I think accountability is all about leading by example. If you want people to follow the right path, show them you’re also on the same path. And that’s how I move with my guys. If I want them to step up—whether it’s being better partners, taking their careers seriously, or just staying healthy—I make sure I’m doing the same. I don’t preach; I live it. And over time, they start following my lead.
Femi*
I’m not big on confrontations, so I prefer to use humour to hold my friends accountable. If one of them is being reckless, I’ll clown him in the group chat with jokes, memes, and sarcastic comments. It’s funny, but they know the message is real. It keeps things light, but the point hits home.
Suleiman*
I think with age comes a different perspective on accountability. When my friends are on a self-destructive path, I bring in a mentor figure we all trust—like an elder from our mosque or a respected uncle. These people have wisdom and can talk to them in a way that makes them reflect and change. Sometimes, we need that level of seriousness.
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