People swear they’re neither fans of calls nor texts, but does that need to change when they fall in love or enter a relationship? Can you really be interested in someone when you can’t make time to talk to them? These are the questions we had in mind when we spoke to these 8 Nigerians:
“We have at least two calls with texts in between”
Zo*, 28
It’s only right to talk to your partner at least once every day. When you’re not dead or haven’t gone missing, what is your problem?
My partner and I get on a call at least twice a day — one to talk about the day in view, the other to discuss how the day went — with texts at random intervals. We’ve been together for three years, and the longest we’ve gone without talking is a day because we were both really busy and ended up missing each other’s calls.
“We hadn’t spoken for 12 hours, then he showed up at my door”
Pelumi*, 24
There’s no limit to how often you should talk. My partner and I talk every 3-4 hours. There are a lot of calls involved, and when we can’t call, we text each other. Although we had a fight once and went a whole 12 hours without talking — I was going for 24 hours, lol — but he showed up at my door.
Being friends for a long time before dating definitely helps, but it’s still a lot of work.
“I can’t imagine anyone goes a day without talking to their partner”
Lola*, 26
No matter how busy I am, I’ll always find time for people who are important to me, so I’d expect the same energy. My partner and I talk every day, in the morning when we both wake up, with regular check-ins, afternoon check-ins are almost compulsory except for days when we’re very busy. And we have a rule to have evening calls because we’re intentional about communicating.
We’ve never stayed a day without talking, tops we’ve gone is five hours even when we were fighting. This is why I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t talk to the person they’re dating every day.
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“If we don’t talk in 24 hours, I’d assume you missing”
Erigga*, 24
If you stay a whole day without talking to me, I’d probably file a missing person’s report because, why? We have to talk multiple times a day, with chats, memes and a minimum of one long phone call.
“You should want to talk everyday”
Nosa*, 26
I used to think just being interested in someone meant you had to talk every day, but some things have changed, now I think you should want to talk to the person every day. So even if you don’t talk, it’s not because you don’t want to but because you just couldn’t. And you should save the day’s gist for the next day when you’re filling them in on what they missed.
“We talk till I fall asleep”
Lisa*, 25
We have to talk every day. In fact, every hour of the day, lol. I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year, and we talk every day. We used to talk a lot more before but it reduced with work stress and the general busyness of adulting. We make up for when we can’t talk during the day by talking at night. On some days, we would be on the call for so long that I’d fall asleep.
“You’re allowed to take a day’s break if you give me notice”
Emmanuel*, 23
If you can’t call or text, except you’re quarrelling, you shouldn’t go past two days. It’s okay for one party to go a day without communicating, as long as there was prior notice, even if you just say you didn’t feel like talking that day.
“We talk everyday because my girlfriend likes it”
Isaac*, 28
I think how often you should talk is largely dependent on what your partner likes. I talk to my babe like three times a day. We chat almost all day, but if she didn’t want to, I’d be okay going a day without talking. There’s no one-size-fits-all with relationships. Your willingness to compromise is what matters.
Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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