Christmas is just around the corner, and people are prepping their matching PJs and getting their photographers ready. But for some reason, you can’t stomach the thought of moving into the festive season with your current partner. We see and understand you. We also know how you can end that relationship so you can prepare for your soulmate.
Send “It’s over” veggies
We would say send flowers, but the dollar is on a steady rise;so is the price of fuel. So send a bouquet of ugwu, carrots, and scent leaves to show your appreciation for the love you shared.
It’s not me, it’s you
Instead of taking all the blame for the downfall of your relationship, tell them the truth: you had a great time together, but you can no longer deal with their bad character. If you return to your house soaked with water, charge it to the game.
“You deserve better.”
If they ask why you think so, refer them to your bank account. That should do the trick.
“I love okpa”
It’s the low-budget moimoi that’s out to get you. If you can’t even love yourself and choose better, how do they expect you to love them?
READ: 7 Types of People You Shouldn’t Date
Give them the ick
If all else fails, find whatever makes their skin crawl and act accordingly. Just don’t overdo it and end up becoming the creepy ex.
Japa
Tell them you’re leaving the country and you don’t believe in long-distance relationships. If they try to make you stay, report them to your mother as the weapon fashioned against you.
ALSO READ: 6 Ways To Break Up Without Hurting Your Feelings
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
Tell them you need a break because you want the love you share to grow and blossom like never before. If they don’t believe you, remind them that absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder.
Disclaimer: These are stand-alone tips. If you use them together, anything your eyes see, take it.
You might not have a boo for Burning Ram, but you’ll have all the eye candy and meat you desire.
