What does pretty privilege look like in men? Jonathan* (28) talks about getting financial favours from the women in his life and why he doesn’t mind it.
As told to Boluwatife
Image by Canva AI
I’ve been aware of my good looks since childhood.
As a young boy, it wasn’t strange for my mum’s friends to say things like, “Fine boy, you’ll marry my daughter o,” or “Mummy Jonathan, won’t you collect groom price like this?” It was almost to be expected. People acknowledged my looks everywhere I went, and I grew to expect it.
I started expecting it with girls right from primary school. You’d hardly find a girl and boy in my school sharing the same seat. It was usually two seatmates of the same gender. Seatmates of different genders only happened when the class teacher forced it to as some form of punishment.
However, in primary 4, three female classmates always struggled to sit with me. I sat alone as the class captain, and these girls always came to sit with me at different times. One of them, Remi*, would bring her lunch box to my desk during break time and invite me to eat her food. Then, she’d stay there long after the break was over unless one of the other girls tricked her away so they could sit beside me.
By secondary school, I’d realised my advantage, and I’m not ashamed to say I used it to the full extent. I didn’t have to do more than the bare minimum; I only had to smile and show a little care, and I never lacked a girlfriend. Even when other girls knew I was with someone else, they didn’t stop trying to be nice to me. I only had to say I was hungry or wanted to buy ice cream, and someone would offer to get it for me. It was so interesting to me.
I once designed a handwritten birthday card for a girl in another class, and she bought me a bottle of perfume to thank me for giving her a birthday gift. Another time, I lent a girl my sweater, and she told everyone I liked her.
The first time I got actual money from a girlfriend was in university. I had gambled away my school fees, hoping to win it back, but I lost it. I complained bitterly to my girlfriend, Seun*, and she asked for my account number. The next thing I saw in my account was ₦50k. Seun actually sent me part of her school fees and lied to her dad that it was stolen so he’d send it back to her.
Looking back, I really got a lot of money from Seun. We dated all through my time in university, and I still think of her as my one true love. She was a rich man’s child, and I was in a gambling phase, so she saved my ass most of the time. We’d have still been together today if her dad hadn’t sent her abroad after we graduated in 2018. A long-distance relationship wouldn’t have worked, and we mutually ended things.
Since Seun, I’ve had four other semi-serious relationships, but I’ve noticed that all my exes always had more money and were okay with spending it on me. I don’t know if that makes me sound like a gigolo, but it’s the truth.
It’s also not like I deliberately look for richer women. It’s just a thing where I know I can have almost every woman I want, so I’m not scared to approach successful women.
For context, I’m an upwardly mobile young professional with a good job who always meets people like me. Women in this category are often successful and relatively independent. None of the professional women I’ve dated have ever waited for me to buy them something before they took me out on a date or bought me shoes and wristwatches.
I also occasionally spend on dates and gifts for special occasions, but a more significant part of the financial support has always come from the women I’ve dated. I don’t know what it is, but women easily give me money. I only need to complain, and they’re offering to help me out. It’s the reason why I can’t relate when people say women are stingy or only want men with money. That hasn’t been my experience.
Just last year, my girlfriend gave me ₦400k to support my rent because I complained that I didn’t have enough. I think that’s the highest amount I’ve ever gotten from a woman at once. I fully intend to pay that ₦400k back, but it still blows my mind that she was willing to give me that much.
I’m not mad at the pretty privilege. I know guys who spend so much on ladies and never get that energy reciprocated. At least, that’s not my story.
Maybe ladies don’t even spend on me because I’m handsome. Maybe I’ve just been lucky enough to meet generous women. Whatever the case, I’m grateful for it. Will I ever date someone I have to be spending on? Not likely. There’s no need for me to stop something good just because I want to feel like I’m also spending on women. I’m not trying to prove any point.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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