Living and loving in Lagos can feel like an extreme sport — especially in a tiny apartment.
Between skyrocketing rent, relentless traffic, and the daily hustle, young couples in the city face a unique challenge: balancing love, ambition, and personal space in what often feels like a shoebox.
It’s why “Tiny Apartment” by Victony & Saint JHN caught my attention. The bittersweet track mirrors the reality of so many couples — where love, frustration, and limited space collide.
Inspired by the song, we spoke to three couples about the unexpected lessons of love in Lagos’ tightest quarters — how they make it work, what nearly tore them apart, and the moments that reminded them why they chose each other.
Bayo & Ife: Love, Money and the Financial Tightrope
For Bayo and Ife, financial transparency has become a cornerstone of their relationship. But getting there wasn’t easy.
One of the first hurdles couples face when moving in together is money. For Bayo and Ife, both in their late 20s, sharing a one-bedroom apartment in Yaba came with unspoken expectations. Early on, they agreed to split rent equally, but other expenses like groceries, utilities, and occasional treats became a gray area.
One instance stands out: Ife unexpectedly had to cover a large electricity bill when Bayo’s paycheck was delayed.
“I didn’t say anything at first,” Ife recalls, “but I was frustrated. I felt like I was carrying more of the burden that month.”
Bayo, on the other hand, admits he sometimes feels pressured to contribute more, even when he’s stretched thin. “Ife has a higher-paying job, and sometimes I feel like she expects me to match her financially, even though I can’t,” he shares.
This dynamic has led to moments of tension, especially when Ife makes offhand comments like, “I paid for groceries again,” which Bayo interprets as passive-aggressive. To navigate this, they’ve started a joint budget spreadsheet to track shared expenses and contributions.
When asked how they came up with the idea, Ife shares, “I had initiated us going on a date, but when it was time to pay for dinner, there was an awkward silence. Bayo suggested we create a joint budget spreadsheet.” She admits, “It was awkward at first, but now it’s our secret weapon. It helps us stay accountable and avoid assumptions.” Bayo adds, “We’ve learned to be more patient with each other. Money is a touchy subject, but it’s also a team effort.”
Takeaway: Financial transparency prevents resentment. A shared budget can help couples stay accountable and avoid misunderstandings.
Amaka & Kunle: The Exhaustion of Lagos Traffic
Lagos traffic is infamous, and for couples like Amaka and Kunle, it’s a daily battle that drains their time and energy. The city’s constant hustle can leave little room for quality time, which is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Kunle, who works four days a week, often wakes up at 4:30 AM to beat the traffic. By the time he gets home, he’s drained. “I just want to eat, shower, and sleep,” he admits. “But sometimes Amaka wants to talk or spend time together, and I feel guilty for not having the energy.”
Amaka, who works three days a week, has felt neglected at times. “Kunle used to give me massages and plan little surprises,” she says. “Now, it feels like we’re just coexisting. I miss the intimacy we used to have.”
One evening, Amaka confronted Kunle about how distant he’d become. “I told him I felt like he didn’t care anymore,” she shares.
Kunle, however, felt misunderstood. “I’m exhausted, but it’s not because I don’t love her,” he explains. “I just feel like she doesn’t realize how much the traffic and work take out of me.”
Then, one night changed everything.
“On June 25th, there was a flood on the island, the roads were blocked, and a celebrity had gotten married,” Kunle recalls. “I got home around 2 AM, and Amaka was waiting for me. She had prepared my food, brought out a change of clothes, and even had hot water ready for me to shower. You need to understand that she had to leave for work in less than three hours, but she was waiting for me. It reminded me why we’re doing this.”
To bridge the gap, they’ve started scheduling date nights at home, even if it’s just watching a movie together or cooking a meal. “It’s not about grand gestures,” Amaka says. “It’s about being present for each other, even when life gets overwhelming.”
When asked how the date night has rekindled their connection, Kunle says, “Knowing that you are loved and worth the inconvenience, I look for ways to keep that smile on her face. Seeing her happy keeps me happy.”
Takeaway: In the chaos of Lagos, small moments matter. Even simple at-home date nights help keep relationships strong.
Tobi & Chioma: The Introvert-Extrovert Dynamic
Tobi and Chioma’s relationship is a classic case of opposites attracting — and occasionally clashing.
Tobi, an extrovert, loves bringing his friends over and introducing them to Chioma. “I want her to be part of my world,” he says. But Chioma, an introvert, often feels overwhelmed by these gatherings. Living in a small apartment means there’s little room for personal space.
“I need time to recharge, and having people over in our tiny apartment feels invasive,” she explains. “But when you’re sharing a tiny apartment, that’s easier said than done.”
Their differences came to a head during a heated argument about Tobi’s plans to host a game night. “I felt like he wasn’t considering my needs,” Chioma says. “He just assumed I’d be okay with it.”
Tobi, on the other hand, felt hurt. “I thought she didn’t like my friends or didn’t want to be part of my life,” he admits.
During the heated argument about Tobi’s game night plans, Chioma stormed out to the balcony, leaving Tobi frustrated and confused. “I didn’t know how to give her space in such a small apartment,” he admits. “It felt like she was shutting me out.”
When they argue, Chioma’s need for space becomes a challenge in their small apartment. “I can’t just go to another room to cool off,” she says. “Sometimes, I sit on the balcony or take a walk, but it’s not the same.”
To navigate this, they’ve developed a system:
- When Chioma needs space, she puts on headphones and listens to music, signalling Tobi that she needs time to process.
- Tobi, in turn, has learned to give her that space without taking it personally.
“It’s still a work in progress,” Chioma says. “But we’re getting better at respecting each other’s needs.”
Takeaway: Personal space is important — even in small apartments. Establish a system that lets both partners breathe without resentment.
Small Spaces, Big Lessons
All three couples agree: a tiny apartment forces you to communicate.
“You can’t hide from each other in a tiny apartment,” Kunle jokes. You either learn to fix things, or the walls close in — literally.
For young couples navigating similar struggles, these stories remind us that love isn’t about the size of your apartment but the strength of your bond. They remind us that even in the most cramped corners, the biggest love can grow.
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