Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
*Godwin (21) and *Thompson (22) matched on Tinder while Godwin was visiting Thompson’s city for a few days. On this week’s Love Life, they share how one spontaneous meetup turned into back‑to‑back visits, why they’ve decided to take things slow as their connection deepens and how intimacy isn’t clouding their judgment.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Godwin: It was on Tinder, in April 2025. I was in his city to celebrate a milestone with a friend.
I got on the app to see what was happening, and we matched each other. We didn’t talk a lot on the app. We had a formal introduction, and I asked if he wanted to link up.
Thompson: We decided to meet up, and he offered to visit. I hastily made my way to the grocery store to buy water and some refreshments. Somehow, he managed to locate me at the store and patiently waited for me to finish my purchase. Then we headed to my place.
Godwin: I’d seen his pictures on the app, and I recognised him when I spotted him at a grocery store close to his place.
Sweet. What happened when you got home?
Thompson: We spent the entire time talking about random topics and playing Ludo. I couldn’t get over the fact that he kept beating me at the game.
Godwin: 5-1, if I remember correctly. He was pretty salty about the defeat because I wouldn’t stop taunting him.
Thompson: We also talked about our experiences in school and individual lives beyond academia, including the modest jobs we take to earn a small income, and our thoughts on relationships. He mentioned having been in a relationship, whereas I’d only navigated situationships.
Godwin: We connected well for people just meeting for the first time. Thompson appeared open-minded, and he was able to hold mentally stimulating conversations.
Thompson: As the day drew to a close, he left my place. But he missed my delightful company and returned later to spend the night. I’m indeed a charming presence to be around.
Wait. You spent the first night together?
Godwin: Well, he appeared downcast when I told him I was leaving. However, I couldn’t stay back at that particular time because I had to attend to some personal business. But I suggested returning later to spend the night with him, and he happily agreed.
Thompson: We also got intimate on the first night.
Must be nice. So, what happened next?
Godwin: I left the next day, and we continued texting on WhatsApp until I visited him the following week.
Thompson had to leave the next day due to personal reasons. I had also had classes, but he was nice enough to wait till I returned.
Later, I saw him off to the bus stop where he hitched a ride back to his place. After that day, we spent the next couple of days keeping in touch. The communication was pretty good — late-night calls, nonstop texting, and just filling each other in on how we spent our day and all that.
Soon enough, Godwin said he’d love to spend time with me again, scheduled a visit and spent four days at my place. The visit could have ran longer, but I had to make a quick trip back home.
Curious. Had anyone professed feelings to the other at this point?
Godwin: We entertained those talks, but neither one of us wanted to rush into any. Like he said, we’ve been the constant in each other’s lives in the short that we’ve been together. I know everything that’s happening in Thompson’s life just as he knows about whatever I’m up to.
Thompson: It’s all been baby steps for me.
Right. Thompson, Godwin mentioned he was in a relationship. Did you ever ask why he was out and about again?
Thompson: He told me he had broken up, but I don’t remember if he got to telling me why. However, I figured he must have recovered from whatever happened in that relationship, which explained why he was out in the market again.
Godwin: The truth is, before we met, I wasn’t looking to date. I was considering a fling with him and nothing serious. But that changed along the way. Like I said earlier, we’re being intentional about not going full throttle.
During one of our earliest conversations, Thompson said he was confused about what he was feeling, and I recall teasing him about what I had done to him.
I’ve also been unsure about where this is going, but most of the uncertainty has been from him, which is understandable, considering he’s never been in a relationship.
Thompson: Relationships come with a lot. It’s hard to wrap my head around the definition of relationships or what they should look like in this era. I’ve always known that when the time comes, I’m not just gonna jump into one. There are a number of things at stake, so I need to take my time.
What things?
Thompson: Commitment, time and emotional vulnerability. A relationship isn’t just all mouth. If I do get into one, I want to have all the time in the world for my partner. Currently, I’m navigating school, building my business, and handling life in general…I’m not certain I have as much time as I’d love to give.
There’s also the commitment bit; it takes a lot of work and intention to be with one person and stick with them. I also don’t like being vulnerable, talk more of emotional vulnerability. It’s hard to come to terms with the reality of having to put my heart into another’s hands. I need to be 100% sure before I make that leap.
And finally, I’m pretty sensitive. I notice everything, and it makes me scared of uncertainties or change; people change as it’s a constant phenomenon.
Is Godwin aware of any of these things?
Godwin: Actually, no. It’s funny because this is the first I’m hearing of all these. He once told me of his fears about queer relationships being one sided, and that was when we decided to take baby steps.
Right. So, how do you feel about his current reservations?
Godwin: My thoughts are aligned with his. I was raised in a homophobic environment, and even though my parents showed me love, I knew I needed more. So, I decided to find my own people — people I could trust, open up to, and feel completely at ease around. People I don’t have to hide around. For now, I’m fine knowing Thompson is that person.
Neat. Have you been able to tell if this is a fling or something serious?
Godwin: That’s the question we’re trying to figure out — how to tell the difference between a fling and genuine love. But what I’ve realised is that you don’t always know from the start. You have to give it a chance. Love is something you grow into; it doesn’t show up fully formed.
Thompson: I don’t think sex can hinder or limit what we’re both trying to build. If we eventually build it, intimacy will be a part of the picture regardless.
You don’t think it blurs the lines?
Godwin: I feel like sex is the spice of a relationship. I’m not a sex freak or anything, but deriving joy and satisfaction with each other is one step to being committed. It makes no sense that you want to date someone and seek sexual pleasure elsewhere.
Thompson: I feel like everyone knows what they’re doing. I think we’d know within ourselves if it’s blurring the line.
How?
Thompson: Let’s say Person A meets someone and they end up having sex. If there’s no real connection beyond that, they’ll know deep down — it’ll be clear that sex is all there is.
It’s the same way someone might date a person just because they’re rich. Deep inside, you know it’s not love — you’re just attracted to comfort. And if the other person is smart, they’ll eventually realise that what you love isn’t them, but their money.
Right. How would you define your relationship right now?
Thompson: We’re still in the preliminary phase of our relationship, akin to the courtship period preceding marriage. We share a close friendship. However, I don’t see the need for any immediate actions. Time alone is sufficient, as it will naturally unfold everything.
Godwin: I agree. Time reveals all. We’re doing great right now, and I believe things will get better.
What would you say is the best thing about being with each other?
Thompson: His communication skills, empathy and curiosity. Godwin is also open-minded and quite the optimist. I really like that about him.
Godwin: He’s a jovial person. I like the way he laughs and shouts when he’s excited or when a juicy gist is brewing. He’s also as communicative, empathetic and open-minded as I am.
Sweet. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your love life?
Thompson: I’ll give us a 6.
We’re still in the early stage of whatever this is. There’s still a lot to learn, unlearn, and relearn. I understand that no one is perfect when it comes to things like this, so I’m open to both doing our best and hoping everything turns out just as we want it.
Godwin: I’ll go a notch higher and give us a 7. I’m not entirely sure why, but this is what my instincts suggest. I agree that there’s a lot to overcome, but generally, I’m happy with the progress we have made together.
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