Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Lauretta: It was around the last few months of 2023; I forget exactly when. I was looking for a job in finance and landed an interview after searching for a bit. When I got to the venue, I saw Joe, who had also come to interview for the same job.
The interview was a very long process, so we interacted a lot. He sounded really smart — like the kind of guy I could like. He wasn’t from a finance background, but he spoke like he was, which I found extremely attractive. And well, he’s also really fine — tall, dark and handsome.
I copied his work for part of the written interview. But when I returned from my oral interview, he had gone in for his, and I didn’t get his number.
Joe: That’s correct. We were at the interview in 2023, and she was this babe with the brightest smile in the room. I clocked the moment down to a T — I even remember her hairstyle and dress. We didn’t talk that much because a lot was going on, but the quality of our conversations piqued my interest. It was good banter and mentally stimulating. Unfortunately, she was gone by the end of the day before I could get her number.
Ouch
Lauretta: The good thing is that we both got the job. I resumed the office a few weeks later and ran into him again. I was like, “Youuuuu!”
Joe: I’d have found that number even if we hadn’t met at the office. I’d have asked around from mutual friends we made during the job interview. But yeah, we reconnected that day, and I was happy to be in her company again.
Sweet. You guys hit it off immediately, didn’t you?
Joe: We definitely did.
Lauretta: The friendship was instant. We spoke like we had known each other our whole lives.
Curious. Did you make any other friends at the interview?
Lauretta: We made the same friends that day, but Joe was the only person who felt anything like my type. From the first day, I felt like I’d found my person for real.
Joe: The connections I made that day were mostly platonic. I didn’t attach any special feelings to them. That said, I was attracted to Lauretta from day one.
Right. So what was it like navigating a new job and a new friendship?
Lauretta: It felt really good. Our job is pretty hectic, and having someone I could talk to about anything was comforting. Joe and I worked together, taught each other things, and made silly jokes throughout the workday. He also bought me snacks, which made work easier.
Joe: Those days were amazing. Like she mentioned, we had strong banter from day one, which made working in the same office pretty cool. I say we didn’t have a real friendship development phase… we just hit the ground running.
I knew who to go to whenever I got frustrated. We understood each other on a deep level, and that made dealing with whatever external difficulties we faced at work much easier..
Lauretta: It also helped that we were in the same department, so we sat close to each other most days. At some point, we became so close that our bosses pulled our seats apart, but that ultimately didn’t stop anything.
At what point did feelings come into the picture?
Lauretta: Pretty quickly, honestly. After I saw him at the interview, I told my sister I’d seen a guy I liked. So the initial interest made it easy for feelings to grow naturally once we started working together. Again, Joe is a really smart guy, and I liked that a lot.
Before him, I hadn’t been in a proper relationship. I was just going on dates, living my best life, and trying to avoid men and their wahala. But I met Joe, and I wanted to be his. He didn’t want a relationship initially, but he eventually decided I was best for him.
Joe: I hadn’t been in an official relationship either. I always prioritised my career and never explored anything serious with the people I dated. But the bond with Lauretta felt different. Stronger. I even had a phase where I tried to ghost her.
Wait, what?
Joe: It’s something I did in past situationships to exit quietly. But the ghosting barely lasted a weekend with Lauretta. I moved my seat away from her on a Friday and stopped talking to her. That weekend, I told a close friend I might end whatever was brewing between us. But on Monday morning, I folded before 11 a.m.
Lauretta: I came to work that Friday to find out he had moved his seat far from mine. He didn’t talk to me at all. I sent messages, and he ignored them. It felt so strange not to talk to him. I had no idea what was happening, but I gave him space.
I didn’t find out what had gone through his mind until weeks later, when he confessed his feelings.
Joe: About three months in, I realised there was no point fighting it. While I’m still career-focused, she fuels that drive. We talk about work, and she offers insightful perspectives while being a source of emotional support.
When did you make things official?
Joe: A few weeks before her birthday. Very questionable timing, financially.
Lauretta: It was one day in April 2024, when I wasn’t expecting it. I was at his house, and in the middle of getting some action, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was shocked, but it was sweet and intimate.
Curious. What was the situation at work at this point? Had anyone suspected you two had something going on?
Joe: Not really. A few people knew, but the rest just speculated.
Lauretta: The thing is, Joe and I are very hardworking. When we work, we’re fully locked in and don’t give room for distractions. That made it easier for us to be around each other at the office because we could relate professionally. We only told our two closest friends.
There were even days when we had relationship problems but still had to work side by side like nothing was wrong. We had to be adults.
What were the early days of dating like?
Lauretta: They were really good. I finally had a boyfriend, and that felt nice. But our interactions didn’t change much — we were already acting like a couple. We just had the official tag now.
Joe: I like describing those early days as “magic.” The honeymoon phase is underrated. “Baby, babe, Ife mi, olowo ori mi…” Yes, we already acted like we were in a relationship, but we became more intentional. We scheduled monthly dates and made relationship rules like not going to bed angry. They were sweet days.
And when you moved past the honeymoon phase?
Lauretta: I don’t think we’ve moved past it; the relationship has just evolved. We both struggle with communication. I talk a lot, and Joe doesn’t talk as much. It’s something we’re still working on. But we try to understand each other and are committed to growing through it.
Joe: I don’t believe the honeymoon phase has to end. It only dies when people start taking things for granted. Yes, arguments last longer and linger more, but we’ve remained committed to choosing each other. I’ve also learnt that communication should be your best friend in any relationship.
Why is communication still a struggle if you’re always around each other?
Lauretta: We communicate differently. Sometimes we’re physically present but mentally elsewhere. I’d say things like, “Babe, we haven’t spoken,” and he’d respond, “Aren’t we beside each other?” I had to explain that I needed more from him.
Joe is more of a listener, and I talk more. Now, we’re both trying to meet each other halfway.
Joe: Communication is nuanced. I used to think it was simple: talk, listen, respond. But Lauretta sometimes communicates without saying anything. Her body language might contradict her words. It took time to learn how to interpret that. I’m still learning, honestly.
Also, early on, we both got upset about not being informed about important things. Now, we’ve worked out what information we should always share with each other.
Lauretta: The funny thing is, we communicate more now that we don’t work together anymore.
What? Did someone get transferred?
Lauretta: No, Joe left the company.
Joe: I left this year for an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Lauretta knew every step of the way. We had long conversations about how it might affect our relationship. But we’ve adjusted well.
How did you handle the transition, Lauretta?
Lauretta: I supported him 100%, even though I was losing my work bestie. But like he said, we’re one call or Uber away.
How did you deal with not seeing each other as much?
Lauretta: Work was hectic, even when we worked together. We didn’t always have time to talk. But now that we’re apart, we prioritise time together. We go on dates, take walks, and send each other gifts. It’s like we’ve found a new rhythm.
Joe: It’s harder not seeing her daily. If anything, it makes me miss her more.
Right. Have you guys had a major fight yet?
Joe: Yes — last Christmas. We broke up for a day.
You guys keep shocking me. What happened?
Joe: We had planned to spend Christmas together and had an elaborate day mapped out. But that didn’t happen because of what came up.
Lauretta: We had promised to be 100% open with each other because we value honesty. But something was going on that I didn’t know how to tell him, and it involved another guy. He found out a few days before Christmas and broke up with me. I tried to explain, but my coconut-head boyfriend didn’t want to hear it. He’s very principled.
Eventually, we met again — not necessarily to get back together, just to clear the air and not part as enemies. But as God would have it, we ended up right where we belonged: in each other’s arms.
Curious. How did he find out about it?
Lauretta: He asked for my phone. We already had each other’s passwords, but he’d never actually checked it. He read my chats with the other guy. Just to be clear — I didn’t cheat. But I should’ve been upfront with him earlier.
Joe: I felt disrespected and annoyed. If we were serious about building something together, our words had to stand for something. We agreed on honesty, and this wasn’t that. I started wondering whether everything we’d talked about really held value. I know people aren’t perfect — I’m not either — but it made me question things.
How did you resolve the issue and handle similar ones going forward?
Joe: We went back to the basics: communication.
Lauretta: We talked through everything. We both understood that the issue couldn’t be swept under the rug. Now, we talk through things immediately. We come clean, even when it’s uncomfortable. And being friends first really helps with that. We’ve also agreed that if it ever becomes too much to manage, we’ll be honest enough to end it with love and stay friends.
Joe: It’s not like I haven’t made the same mistake. There was a conversation I had with someone I used to see. I didn’t think it was deep, so I didn’t mention it. But Lauretta found out a few days later. She wasn’t happy because we’d agreed to disclose any interactions with past partners. We moved past it by talking, just like we always do.
Neat. What’s the best thing about being with each other?
Lauretta: Joe’s so caring. I honestly worry less knowing I’m with him. He listens to everything I say, helps solve my issues, gives me investment advice, treats me like a princess, and the sex is amazing. Loving him just feels good.
Joe: Beyond the fact that she’s drop-dead gorgeous with the sexiest body, Lauretta is kind, thoughtful, loving and incredibly smart. She fuels my drive. She truly cares about me, respects me and understands me like no one else. And like she said, we have bomb sex.
I love it for you guys. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?
Lauretta: Definitely a 10. This man understands me, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.
Joe: It’s a 10 for me, too. We’re not perfect, but we’re intentional. We show up, learn, and grow, making this love feel sustainable and real.
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