Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Favour, 25, and Segun, 27, have been dating for two years. Today on Love Life, they talk about meeting via a matchmaking attempt by their friends, falling in love after five weeks of constant talking and living out their future plans.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Segun: In March 2020, I’d just gotten out of a relationship when a friend told me that there’s someone she thought I’d like. She was so sure I’d like her that I asked for her Instagram handle.
Favour: I was on Eko bridge, coming back from brunch when the same friend called me. She said she wanted to introduce me to someone. At the time, I too had just come out from a situationship and all my friends were trying to hook me up with different guys. I had been declining because I wasn’t interested but she was very convincing. She said he is a cute guy and I would want to see him so I said yes. After I agreed, I got a message from him on Instagram about an hour later.
Ahan, Segun. No time to waste time.
Segun: LOL. We chatted for a long time that day. We talked about a lot of things. I told her about my past relationships and she told me about hers. We also talked about work. She was jovial and warm. I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me I liked her that day.
Favour: Before the end of the day, we moved to iMessage. By the next day, we had started doing FaceTime calls that lasted hours. Talking to him felt easy. I found myself telling him intimate details about my life. We agreed to meet a week after we started texting. I had an office training in a hotel somewhere close to his office so he asked to stop by after work. We were gisting from like 8 p.m. till 3 a.m. It felt like we’d known each other forever. He ended up sleeping over. We continued to see each other every day for the next two weeks. After the training, he would either stop by my place or we would meet somewhere.
Segun: It was interesting getting to know her, even though I had to drive to Lekki from Surulere every other day. I didn’t mind it at all. We watched shows, tried out new recipes, played games, etc. We also spent a lot of time together doing nothing, and I liked that too. We became a part of each other’s daily routine.
In the first week of talking every day, I knew I wanted to be with her and told her. By this time, we knew the basic stuff about each other — previous relationships, childhood experiences, how we were raised, how we both want to leave the country in a few years and what our expectations were for potential partners.
Favour: Me too, I knew I liked him during that first week. He was not only easy to talk to, he is a very handsome man. I was very attracted to him. We continued talking for about five weeks before we started dating.
Did you enjoy the talking stage?
Segun: Yes. I knew what I wanted from a relationship, so that period was about learning her wants and how we could build on what we had in common.
Favour: Those five weeks felt like I’d known him forever. By the third week, lockdown had started but he still found a way to see as often as he could.
One day, after he dropped me off at home, he told me he loved me. In how many weeks? That put me under pressure. I felt like I had to say it back. I told him I liked him a lot, but love is a different thing. I needed time to see if I felt the same way.
I realised that I had fallen in love with him on my birthday when he called me at 6 a.m. to tell me to come outside my house and he was standing there in the rain with a cake. It was really cute.
This was during the lockdown and he had to go through police checkpoints on the way. It’s the type of thing you see in movies. LOL. We started dating a couple of days later.
Na wa for romance o, how has the relationship been so far?
Favour: I have been having the time of my life with Segun. Before him, my romantic relationships felt forced. I had to put in a lot of effort to make my partners love me. With Segun, everything has been soft. He’s a very thoughtful person, so he’s intentional with how he loves me. I don’t have to be anything but myself. I also trust him completely — If I can’t reach him, I know he’s probably sleeping or genuinely busy. With my exes, if I couldn’t reach them, I’d just start praying. LOL.
Segun: We do a lot of things together like shopping, going on trips and working. During the heat of the lockdown, we were together, and I enjoyed that. On most days, she’d wake up and start working on her system. It motivated me to do the same.
The way she thinks I’m intentional about loving her is how I think she’s intentional with me too. She is always thinking of new ways to spice up the relationship like thinking of fun things we can do, whether it’s a new location to visit or something intimate. Every day with her is a new adventure.
God, when will I see adventure? Tell me about your biggest fight.
Segun: That one is easy. It was on my mum’s birthday. I told her my mum’s birthday was coming. I even reminded her a week before, but it slipped her mind. On her birthday, she was angry that I didn’t remind her the day before. I was like, it’s my mother and I’m not angry you forgot, but sis refused to hear. Eventually, I became angry that she was angry with me.
Favour: I felt bad because I had to wish his mum a happy birthday much later in the evening when he mentioned it. It wasn’t such a big deal but I felt like my anger was valid and I wanted him to acknowledge the fact that I had asked him to remind me and he didn’t.
How did you resolve it?
Segun: Favour does not allow fights to exceed a day before we resolve it.
Favour: Because when you start keeping these things overnight, resentment builds and one day, we’ll just get fed up with everything. I don’t want us to get there.
Left to Segun, he would just sleep after an argument, but me, I can’t sleep until we’ve resolved it. In fact, that’s the thing we fight about the most.
Segun: It’s something we’re working on as a couple. I am working on how to better express myself during conflict as opposed to going to bed.
Oluwasegun, ji ma sun. What’s the best part of the relationship?
Segun: I like that we complement each other. I am an introverted person while Favour is the outgoing type. She knows all the cool spots in Lagos so going out with her is always a fun time. I can’t count how many restaurants we’ve gone to together. I like art so we visit art galleries often. She loves the beach so we spend a lot of time at the beach too. I love exploring life with her. She’s the life of my party.
Favour: The time we spend together is also my favourite part of the relationship. Sometimes, we do absolutely nothing together. Another thing I love about our relationship is that neither of us has primary responsibilities. I don’t have to cook, and he doesn’t have to pay the bills. Anybody can volunteer and the other person does the next available task. It’s a reflection of how well we complement each other.
What are your future plans as a couple?
Segun: I am looking forward to getting married to her, travelling all over the world and having babies. I am just waiting to make more money.
Favour: Personally, I think we are living out future plans. We are on our way to making more money and living the life we want for ourselves.
Aww, what are your favourite things about each other?
Segun: Apart from her booty, I really like her cooking. She likes to try different things. She’s very creative when it comes to food. Even if it’s just leftovers, she finds a way to make it pop. Her eggs are the best thing ever.
Favour: My favourite thing about Segun is that he’s calm. The whole world could be on fire and Segun would just be chilling. I’m someone that has anxiety, so it’s great to have someone as calm as Segun telling me not to worry. I also like that he’s a very attractive person. Sometimes, I am looking at him and next thing I know, we’re in bed. I take so many pictures of him because he’s beautiful to look at.
Segun: She’s my official photographer. She has more pictures of me than me.
God, when will I have official photographer? If you had to rate your relationship on a scale of one to ten…
Segun: I would say…
Favour: Let me just say that I won’t judge you by anything that you say.
Segun: Okay, 6.5.
Favour: Over what?
Segun: 10.
Favour: Oh my god.
Segun: Wait first. It’s not because our relationship isn’t great. I’m leaving space for more to come. If I gave us a high score, I’d feel like we’ve done everything. I know there’s so much more we are yet to explore together and with each day, we get to know each other a little better. The remaining 3.5 is for untapped potential.
Favour: But 6.5 is fail o. If I get 6.5 out of ten in my appraisal, I will cry.
LMAO. What’s yours, Favour?
Favour: For me, it’s 8 oh. This relationship is great especially when I compare it to my previous relationships where I couldn’t trust my partners for shit. I’m leaving the remaining 1.5 for God’s love.
