There’s just something about some Nigerian men doing the absolute most when trying to toast a woman. In their attempts to impress or get her attention, they often end up serving piping hot second-hand embarrassment instead of the ‘odogwu’ energy they are aiming for.
We asked a few Nigerian women to share some cringe things a guy has done or said while trying to toast them, and let’s just say, some of you need to be stopped.
“He wrote the worst song in the world for me” — Biola* (24)
He wrote the worst song in the world about me and had the nerve to put it on Soundcloud. I begged him for weeks before he finally removed it from his Twitter bio. It was so cringe — my friends would randomly come across the song and message me like, “Wait! Is this song about you?” I was so embarrassed.
“He started rapping unprovoked” — Sia* (27)
He started rapping — unprovoked — on our very first date. He forgot his own bars halfway through, shrugged it off, then kept rapping. At some point, he looked at me and said my boobs were going to poke his eyes out. That was the moment I knew i’d made a terrible mistake.
“He faked a phone call bragging about his wealth“ — Demide* (29)
It was so weird. He was ahead of me in the queue at an ice cream shop, and when he looked back and noticed me, he whipped out his phone and pretended to be on a call. Then he started speaking very loudly about the millions he had in crypto, how he had to leave the country soon, blah blah blah.
As soon as I paid for my ice cream, he ‘hung up’ and immediately tried to chat to me. I politely turned him down and ran out. It was too cringe for me.
“We wanted different things and he didn’t like that” —Bimpe* (30)
He wanted a friend-with-benefits situation when I was looking for something serious, so we broke it off. A few days later, I posted a photo of myself at a dinner with my friends, and he sent me “???” on WhatsApp. I obviously didn’t respond.
That’s when he started posting cryptic WhatsApp statuses about “disloyal hoes,” and how “men aren’t loved unconditionally.” It was so cringe. My crush on him evaporated instantly.
“He was begging for shots at the club” — Damola* (26)
We were at the club together, and he was literally begging for drinks from the guys at the tables. I couldn’t look at him the same way after that. The secondhand embarrassment was too strong.
If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: I Can’t Deal With Takers” — 5 Nigerians on Friendship Icks They Absolutely Can’t Stand
