Friendships, like relationships, can be beautiful, chaotic, and sometimes, downright disappointing. One minute, you have a ride-or-die, and the next, you’re questioning how you ever trusted them in the first place.
After seeing countless stories of best friends turned sworn enemies on social media, I reached out to some Nigerians who have been there, done that, and asked why they had to cut their closest friends off. Their stories prove that sometimes, letting go is the only option.
“She talks too much!” — Deborah*, 15
It’s one thing to have a talkative friend. It’s another to have a friend who talks so much they make you want to disappear. Deborah*, 15, shares:
“Ever since we got to SS1, it was like she couldn’t stop talking—about other people, her private life, things that didn’t concern her, just cho cho cho all the time. I think she wanted to seem more likeable to the other students, but even when I told her that all the oversharing was doing the opposite of what she intended, she didn’t listen. So, I kept my distance.”
“She tried to swindle me” — Enitan*, 50
When money is involved, true colours will always show. In Enitan’s*, 50, case, it also involved the police showing face.
“I cut my closest friend off because she connived with my cousin to scam me. We had been close since secondary school, and even though we lived in different states, we did business together. Then, in 2010, she and my cousin convinced me to invest in a photocopy and printing business. But instead of setting up the business as agreed, they tried to run off with the capital. I had to involve the police to get my money back. As soon as I saw the alert, I cut them off. She still messages me on Facebook, begging for forgiveness, but I want nothing to do with her.”
“My best friend fell in love with me” — Dare*, 37
Best friends turning into lovers might sound romantic in movies, but for Dare*, 37, it was an awkward situation he couldn’t stomach.
“We became close friends in university, but our bond really deepened after school when we realised we had been posted to the same PPA in Abuja for NYSC. Everything was fine until 2018, when we were approaching 30, and she started talking about how we should just get married to each other. At first, I laughed because I thought she was joking, but she kept bringing it up. I explained that I liked our friendship as it was — without any romantic complications — but she didn’t take it well. She cried, said I had deceived her and even threatened to harm herself. For days after, she left hundreds of WhatsApp messages.
I was genuinely afraid. If anything happened to her, who would believe me? I lied at my PPA that I was sick and ran back to Calabar for a week. As soon as I landed, I blocked her everywhere. When I returned to Abuja, I avoided her altogether. It was incredibly awkward until my service year ended, and I moved to Oyo. We haven’t spoken since.”
“He had anger issues, and I don’t like wahala” — Bimpe*, 26
Having a best friend with anger issues is one thing, but realising they might actually harm you? It’s time to pack your bags. Bimpe*, 26, stood on business. She shares:
“My former best friend and I had been tight since secondary school. He was a fighter back then because seniors always tried to bully him, so I never saw his willingness to beat people up as a red flag. Then in uni, in 2016, we had a silly argument over which Naruto character was better. This boy called me a stupid bitch, punched a wall, and threw a vase at my head. Because of anime? The next day, he tried to apologise over the phone. I said there was no problem, but I can count how many times I’ve spoken to him since that day. I don’t like wahala like that.”
“He never seemed happy when I was doing well” — Demilade*, 36
There are silent haters and then there are friends who don’t try to hide their envy when you win. Demilade*, 36, shares:
“My friend and I met during NYSC and bonded over our similar backgrounds and hunger for success in Lagos. Over time, I noticed that he wouldn’t even pretend to be happy for me whenever I shared good news. Instead, he’d get moody or post cryptic messages on WhatsApp about how “some people” think they are better than him, but his God would show them.
The last straw was getting accepted into a coding school. I was so excited to start my tech journey that I called him immediately. He dismissed it, saying it wasn’t a big deal since I wasn’t about to invent the next Microsoft. It rubbed me the wrong way, so I stopped reaching out. I still miss him, but he was moving really weird.”
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