While catching up with a friend, I realised how much my problems have changed over the years. So, I asked a couple of Nigerians what their biggest problems were when they were 20 years old versus what their problems are now, and their responses were funny while reflecting the serious responsibilities of adult life.
“I’m looking for happiness” — Danny* (26), NB
When I was 20, my biggest issue was proving myself to my boss at the radio station I worked at. Now, my biggest problem is trying to create a path to steady happiness — whatever that means — and enjoying the ride.
“I want to travel the world!” — Debby* (28), F
At 20, my biggest problem was to finish uni with a 2:1. I knew 1st class was ruled out for me right from my first semester in Unilag.
My biggest problem now? Where do I start from, please? I just want to be a billionaire. I want to travel the world and experience different cultures, but I’m stuck in Lagos.
“My problem is that I need to japa.” — Wande* (30), M
When I was 20, my biggest problem was wrapping my head around my biochemistry and microbiology courses. But now? My biggest issue is finding a way to leave this country.
“Money, money money!” — Tayo* (32), M
When I was 20, my biggest problem was figuring out how to make money. Now, my biggest problem is still making money because the number of responsibilities I have has almost quadrupled within that time.
“I was having a baby” — Adejoke*(57), F
When I was 20, I was expecting my first child, and I was so anxious about the whole thing. Looking back, it’s so funny how that was one of the least of my problems as I got older. Now, in my late fifties, my biggest problem is retirement. I don’t have a husband to support me anymore, and as costs keep rising and my children struggle to even cater to themselves, I’ve been thinking about what retirement will look like for me, and I’m very worried.
“My mum won’t stop talking to me about marriage.” — Funmi* (27), F
When I was 20, my biggest problem was finding it difficult to tell men, “No”. So, I had an endless circle of friends with benefits and situationships.
Now, I’m in my late 20s, and my biggest issue is that my mum won’t stop talking to me about marriage. She thinks I’m the problem. She thinks maybe I’m proud, rude, and that’s why there’s no man yet. She connected me with her friend’s son, which is not going badly, but she’s now behaving like a mother hen and wants constant progress updates. It’s exhausting. I wonder if they police men about marriage like this.
“I wanted to get married at 20” — Lydia* (54), F
When I was 20 years old, I just wanted to get married. I felt like the clock was ticking, and I was so worried about the imaginary deadline. Even though I wouldn’t end up marrying anyone for seven years after that, at the time, I thought the sky would fall on my head. Now, my biggest problem is looking for a way to move myself and my kids out of the country. It’s very expensive and it has been difficult for me to raise the money, but I’m still hopeful.
“I can’t find my father” — Matthias*(38), M
When I was 20, I wanted to move out of my father’s house because I was frustrated by the lack of ambition I was surrounded by and that was my biggest concern. Now, my biggest issue is that my dad has gone missing. He has dementia and wandered out of his church almost eight months ago. We’ve almost given up hope and it keeps me up at night.
“Black tax is pressing my neck” — Tamilore* (32), F
When I was 20, all I could think about was graduating and becoming a lawyer. Hearing “the law!” on my street every time I stepped out just fueled my anticipation for getting my wig and gown. Now, ehn, black tax is my biggest issue. I’m putting my younger brother through school, and it is hell on my pockets, especially in this economy.
“When I was 20, unemployment was my biggest concern.” — Bola* (43), M
When I was 20, unemployment was my biggest issue. I hadn’t gotten into school yet and I was staying with a distant uncle and his family till I got my admission. I couldn’t find a job for almost a year and it was hard because my uncle was putting pressure on me to be useful and chip in at home.
Now, my biggest problem are the bills I constantly pay. If my child in the university doesn’t need something, my sister needs a bail out, or my mother will fall sick. I’m happy I can come through for my family but it can get overwhelming.
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