Jeremiah* talks about his rollercoaster relationship with Mariam*, her constant cheating, how it affected them, and why he stayed, regardless.
This is Jeremiah’s* story, as told to Chioma.
I met Mariam* in 2013. We met through a friend, and there was just something intriguing about her. She was different, with all these layers, but she had a kind heart.
I wanted her. I wanted to be her knight in shining armour. In retrospect, that was my saviour complex throbbing with glee. Also, it didn’t hurt that she had a bombastic bunda.
After talking for four months, we finally got together. I don’t think we had a honeymoon phase. One second, we were getting to know each other as friends; the next, we were in a relationship, and she was accusing me of sleeping with every girl who walked my way.
It was ridiculous, but I still had my Superman cape on, and I tried to convince her that she was the only one I had eyes for. She had unrestricted access to my phone. I reassured her of our love every chance I got, but she never let it go.
See, Mariam* believed all men were cheats. She said, “I would rather trust a snake than a man”. So, as a card-carrying member of the male gender, I was a cheat too. It hurt, but I was determined to make it work, so I took it on the chin, and we continued dating.
Then, I started getting uneasy about our relationship. I was being open about everything. She had access to my phone, and I would answer calls in front of her. She knew every step I took, but I was always left in the dark for some reason. Mariam* had CBN-level security on her phone. She would walk away from me and answer calls in hushed tones. Every time I asked her why she was moving like a drug dealer on steroids, she would brush it off.
After two years of constant cheating accusations, she finally met her Waterloo. She left her phone unlocked for some reason, and I saw her notifications, one said, “Don’t treat me like this. I love you.” I got curious and decided to go through her chats. Worst mistake of my life. I almost threw up. She was talking to three different guys, with one being married.
When I confronted her, she got upset that I had caught her and went on to gaslight me. She blamed me for her cheating ways, said it was because I wasn’t being serious with her, and we hadn’t gotten married yet.
I didn’t know how to feel. I was relieved because we had finally found the cheater in our relationship, and it wasn’t me; I was angry because she was most likely having sex with these men without protection like she was with me. Now that I think about it, though, I should have felt like an idiot. I allowed her to convince me that her cheating was my fault because I hadn’t shown her how serious I was about her.
We stayed together after our little cheating hurdle, and our relationship intensified. She wanted me to show her I was serious, so I did. But that did nothing for our relationship. We broke up a year later, in 2016, and she went on to get married to one of the men she cheated on me with.
